Is it normal to leave someone great because you're scared?

73% Normal
13 Comments

Just a side note about myself, I am a successful young woman I have my own career, I live on my own. I'm currently saving money to own a home while I try to improve my body (I want to be more toned). I've been called beautiful and smart...Some folks called me "The Total Package"
With that being said....Why can't I get a date or find a romantic partner? My last crush was a longtime friend, he helped me through a time when I was depressed. Due to the tough situation I was in, I was going to move out of my hometown but my friend/crush stopped me; he kissed me and begged me not to go. Long story short we had a thing going on, just kissing nothing more. Although there were no specific titles,there were times he would tell me how he thought the world of me, I met his parents as well. He even spoke of how he had always wanted me, even before we had our thing going. At one point he told me he felt that I was too good for him. However when it came time to take things further, he refused. It was his birthday and he invited me to stay in his hotel room, I thought it would be nice to surprise him with sexy lingerie...Instead he told me he didn't want to have sex with me because "what you did was a very 'girlfriend' thing to do" and that what I did "wasn't the real you"
After that he became critical of me, nothing I did was ever good enough and eventually I left. I've moved on but it still hurts from time to time...

This is not the first time this has happened. I had something similar where a guy took me to meet his family and friends, we were dating for about 3 months. Things were going well and as I planned a romantic day where I was going to sleep with him for the first time, he cheated.

I don't get it...
Please someone shed some light on this

Voting Results
73% Normal
Based on 11 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • Tealights
    8 years ago

    You're just bad at dating.

    Even though you're probably a mature, sexy woman with a good career and everything else, but you date like a horny 14 year old and falling for every scumbag trick.

    I'm not saying you need to read Cosmo, or some shit like that. You just need to learn about relationship red flags, and have more confidence in yourself relationship-wise. Know what you want, and know what you don't want and lookout for it. Also, understand that not any guy who gives you attention, whether friend or acquaintance, is right for you.

    Despite what others here are saying, you are successful, you just got to be careful when you date and not let your self-esteem get dragged down by assholes.

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    • popperpop
      8 years ago

      I can admit, I hate dating. Maybe if I embrace it, things could be different

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Sounds like your problem is your choice in guys.
    Perhaps if you found some that are as successful as you are, things might be different.

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    • popperpop
      8 years ago

      Out of all the comments here I think yours makes the most sense. I was told by a friend that if I was going to find someone it would be someone who is secure with himself. I realize now that some people can get intimidated with others even if they like the person

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    • Steve2WantsTheManagement2Reply
      8 years ago

      I doubt it. I think what this woman truly needs is to find an older, more experienced lover, 42 years her senior. Who has the patience to teach her about the subtlety and adventure involved in missionary position sex.

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      • popperpop
        8 years ago

        Thanks for the offer but you're too old for me. Also there's more to sex than just one position

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      • thegypsysailor
        8 years ago

        If you are so fucking miserable here and hate the management so damn much, why don't you just leave. Nobody, most especially the management, gives two shits about you, asshole.
        So move on out that door and don't let it hit you in the ass as you go.

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      • Aaaaaaand he's back
        8 years ago

        Lmfao

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  • Terence_the_viking
    8 years ago

    "I am a successful young woman"

    No you're not.

    The simple answer is you have no confidence in yourself when it comes to relationships.

    Go and show them what you're what don't wait for something to happen.

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    • popperpop
      8 years ago

      I'm not at all waiting, but I know I have to see my past crush at a wedding, so he's on my mind. I will however bring a date.

      I've been in relationships before, my shortest was a year, longest was 3 years. I just felt I got into a slump.

      Also I'm a charge nurse on my unit at the hospital and currently going back to school for my masters, that's what I meant by successful, that I'm not sitting around doing nothing.

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  • Aaaaaaand he's back
    8 years ago

    I think its pretty obvious that you're NOT the "total package". If you were, you would be in a great relationship. Maybe try being more humble

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    • popperpop
      8 years ago

      Pardon I wasn't trying to come off as snooty.
      I've only been told that I was the total package, in spite of this I don't think I'm better than anyone else, however I know I'm not a loser either.

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      • Aaaaaaand he's back
        8 years ago

        People often say "everything in my life is in place EXCEPT i can't find a partner". The reality is that everything isn't fine, and they are just lying to themselves

        Take a more critical look at the rest of your life, the so called "total package" and you may find the answer why you are still single...

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