Is it normal to kind of hate my bipolar mom

80% Normal
4 Comments

For background, my mom is really mentally fucked up and she’s not willing to get therapy or take meds. She’s struggled with bipolar disorder, depression, eating disorders, etc her entire life. She self medicates with weed and has racked up hundreds of dollars of debt to dealers. We’re already welfare bums and we can barely afford to pay our bills, nevermind pay off dealers. She’s also basically a chain smoker and spends ~$350 a month on tobacco. She claims that her allotted $1,400 government allowance is too little to live on, but it really wouldn’t be if she’d quit her addictions. About once every few days she has these overemotional bipolar rages, she tries to guilt trip me for not being more stereotypically feminine and she threatens suicide, asking if I’d be happy if she shot herself. I really think I would. When she gets like that I don’t say anything. I just stand there. That makes her angrier. She usually tires herself out by sobbing loudly and watching Dr. Phil until her bedtime of 4 AM. The funny thing is that 50% of the time she’s the nicest woman you’ll ever meet, but that’s just a mask she puts on for the public. When she’s like that I’m completely fine with her, but the moment something doesn’t go her way she erupts in fucks and starts acting like a toddler having a tantrum. I really wish I’d never moved in with her. She has made me idolize my dad who I used to refer to as abusive. He just disciplined me well and had my best interests at heart.
So... is it normal to sort of hate my mom?

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 5 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Ellenna
    5 years ago

    You don't have to put up with this: whether or not she's mentally ill or just nasty, you can't help her unless she helps herself.

    If you're old enough to leave home, why not do so? I suggest you get yourself to AlAnon, which is for family & friends of addicts, but also check out if there's a group around for children of mentally ill parents. You need to get some support in this situation, particularly if you can't leave home and get away from her.

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  • nikkiclaire
    5 years ago

    To cycle every few days is not typical of bipolar disorder, even unmedicated that sounds extreme. It's usually every few months even for rapid cyclers.

    Something else may going on with her. There could be a number of comorbid issues at play.

    You shouldn't hate her for being sick but you have every right to leave and take care of yourself.

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    • RoseIsabella
      5 years ago

      I know, maybe it's something like Borderline personality disorder?

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    Check out these websites:

    https://al-anon.org/
    http://www.adultchildren.org/
    http://coda.org/

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