Is it normal to have too high standards and prefer be single than lowering them?

71% Normal
3 Comments

I generally don't judge women by their looks (and I never blame someone for not being attracted to me) and I can value them for many other reasons...but I really feel the same way about women I am not attracted to as about men I like in a platonic way.

Being heterosexual just seems to mean that people I am attracted to are all women rather than me having some kind of inherent minimal attraction to all women or being able to romantically fall in love with someone I am not attracted to if they are nice just because they are of the opposite gender.

For all I know, maybe there are men I would find physically attractive but I have never met them yet? and I would probably feel the exact same way about them as about women I find physically attractive.

To be honest, physical attraction has always been a big and essential part of why I ever had the desire of being in a relationship someday and having sex with someone I am not attracted to even for companionship is really not something I ever wanted even if that makes me sound shallow or hypocritical :/

I am mostly at peace with the idea that I could never have that kind of relationship (and I really don't want the other type of relationship I mentioned above) and I am not unhappy with being single in itself right now (just a bit sad about the idea of never fulfilling my romantic desire but there are far worse things in life) even if I am a bit afraid of ending up lonely later in life but pretending to love someone that way still feels like a masquerade to me and not something I want to inflict on anyone. (people I don't find attractive don't deserve that and I find the idea of someone doing that to me just horrifying)

I don't deny that people I find attractive are generally above average like solidly cute and that I am merely unattractive without being very very ugly, kinda the kind of case that tend rub to people in the wrong way. (I can understand that it's irritating/silly for some people but that doesn't magically give me control on what I feel)

Thanks! I really tried to give my whole train of thought and subjective experience here.

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 7 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • nikkiclaire
    5 years ago

    I think it's normal and it's not shallow. Physical attraction has to be part of any relationship. I think that it becomes less important as you fall in love with someone tho, so if you really like a woman, and get to know her, your standards may change and your physical attraction to that preson may intensify.

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  • IrishPotato
    5 years ago

    As long as you're happy.

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  • leggs91200
    5 years ago

    It is better to be single and lonely than in a relationship and miserable.

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