Is it normal to have this many standards for men and relationships?

53% Normal
7 Comments

I'm 18 years old and I never had I boyfriend (though I kissed a boy when I was 15) but it's because I have too many standards... For instance, I'm still in school and I don't want to have a boyfriend while in school, only after I'm finished with school. But I think it will be hard to find a guy who satisfies me because of my standards, for example: 1- I want to wait until I'm married to lose my virginity; 2- I want to date/marry a virgin guy (if I'm gonna still a virgin he will as well); 3- I only want to date a guy if we get to know each other really well, because I WANT the relationship to end in marriage (I believe that a relationship is a road to marriage, and it makes ZERO sense to me to be in a relationship without thinking about marriage); 4- I don't want to have just a "quick moment of pleasure" with him, I want something serious. My parents had this kind of relationship (they were both virgins and my mom told my dad that she would only date him if it ended up in marriage) and they've veen happily married for 28 years and never thought about divorcing. But this was in a different era, and I'm afraid that men nowadays don't think like that anymore. So I'm scared that I'll never find a man who is the one for me, and if I do it will take too long...

Voting Results
53% Normal
Based on 30 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • NeofelisNebulosa
    8 years ago

    I can understand why you want some of these standards. However, think of all the opportunities you'll miss if you turn a guy down when he isn't immediately ready to say he's willing to marry you.

    Sometimes life doesn't work out how you want it to. Loosen up a bit, my friend!

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  • ______________
    8 years ago

    I don't think your standards are overly unrealistic - I am a proud virgin myself and would preferably expect the same from a woman.
    Even if you don't find anyone, a partner really isn't necessary - one can live without. However, there's quite a few that don't lower themselves to short lived hook ups, so just keep looking :)

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  • TrustMeImLying
    8 years ago

    it's good to know what you want, and it's even better to be aware of how long it might take you, but the fact your parents are happily married for so long is not -just- because they were each other's firsts. I like to believe that plays a factor, but there were bigger reasons for their success. for the sake of brevity, think of them as winning the lottery.

    men who think like that still do exist. so you can wait to date until you finish school, sure, but get ready to whip out your social skills and look forward to meeting new people because you're going to have to sift through a shit ton of guys to increase the probability of coming across the kind you're looking for.

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  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    That's really really unrealistic .-.

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  • Caryopteris
    8 years ago

    You can usually find people that share your morals within a church. It is less common to find someone like that who doesn't have religious beliefs, but just get involved in wholesome activities that guys and girls both like to do, and have friends who can vouch for you about your character if someone nice notices you and asks about you.

    Be consistent in your beliefs and actions over time, like Bernie Sanders has been for decades. :)

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  • yvanchiyuck
    8 years ago

    are you sure that virgins will not repulse and look boring to you because of their lack of confidence and shyness? are u sure the man you are looking for is not a paradox?

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  • (s)aint
    8 years ago

    Unrealistic.
    You have every right to remain a virgin for as long as you want, that's fine. But to expect the same out of a guy in his twenties is ... unrealistic.

    There is, however, guys out there that have only been sexual with women they have cared deeply about.

    The harsh reality is that, these days, relationships does not last a lifetime. At least not the majority of them.

    I think there's many reasons for this, one mainly being that today we KNOW we don't have to settle for anything other than perfection. As soon as someone stops being interesting or putting effort in the relationship you can leave and know you will find someone else.

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