Is it normal to have strong affection for a guy to this extent?

Hi, first of all, I'm a homosexual guy and have been admitted to a university for at least 2 years. I have a male course mate who is frequently fooling around and acting like a douchebag in front of us. In addition, he is living in the same dorm as mine, in fact the same block and floor too. I was not particularly fond of him at first and treated him respectfully as a university student and my course mate. We rarely met each other even living at close proximity because I seldom go out and appreciate having my own sweet time in the room.

Everything was normal until I started gossiping with my female BFFs about him. We talked about his private life with his girlfriend, at first we were shocked to realize that he has a girlfriend since he always acts like a douchebag and barely take things seriously around us. According to some 'eyewitnesses', he is an extremely caring boyfriend and always give his girlfriend romantic surprises. That was the first time I had a positive impression of him, well, I gave him some additional marks in my mind yet, no special feelings. A few weeks later, I unintentionally saw him having a conversation with our seniors and OMG, he was a completely different person I have known in front of seniors, having a mature conversations addressing some issues in a project with a thoughtful and earnest face like any successful businessman would have. That gave me some wow factor but he quickly 'reincarnated' into a douchebag the next day in front of us.

Just like any other courses, we have a lot of projects and group assignments to work on throughout the semester. Me and the guy I have mentioned occasionally got into the same group because of the ease of keeping in touch of our progress. Initially, he was acting like a douchebag in my group but as time goes by, the assignments under my supervision have consistently being positively rated by our lecturers, his behavior started to change. He gave me the same manly face in front of seniors, I almost melted to the ground looking at him considering he is good-looking and quite athletic. That was my first affectionate experience with him although he was totally unaware of it. Somehow my BFFs saw through me and knew that I had special feelings for him, always making joke of me and the guy within our gossiping group. It is also noteworthy that I had disclosed my sexual orientation in front of my course mates regardless of whether they take it seriously or as a joke, so I'm sure he is aware that I'm gay but his behavior doesn't alter (In my opinion, he is even getting nicer in front of me but my BFFs dismiss this 'myth').

Yes, I do admit that I have special feelings for him, he is caring, passionate of the things he does, handsome, sportive, humorous, serious when the situation demands, knowledgeable, diligent, smart, sociable the list goes on and on. Even though our relationship as course mates (may be friends too?) remains unchanged, but my feelings for him is growing stronger day by day. This might seems common but my subconscious mind is telling me to let him go. I have a principle as a gay person, I will never ever consider a straight guy as my partner because I firmly believe that sexual orientation is something deep-rooted into someone and cannot be changed.

I insist that this principle applies to all the straight guys I met but so often I found myself smiling in my room thinking of him, sifting through the assignments we did together to cherish the moments we spent, my mind is filled with his images when I close my eyes, hugging my bolster at night thinking of him make me sleep tight. I have no desire of having sex with him so far, all I want is to see him being happy and contented with his life, if having his girlfriend by his side does the job, I'm happy to bless their eternal love with tears filling my eyes, I promise I will not let even a drop of it falling out of my eyes in front of him. Lately, I can't look straight into his eyes and always avoiding eye contact with him, I'm pretty darn sure he realized that. What a dilemma, he is perfectly straight with his girlfriend, I have my principle of not interfering with his sexual orientation, but at the same time I have to use my bolster to comfort myself, hoping that we were cuddling together through the long night. Alas, am I normal?