Is it normal to have sexual fantasies about jesus?

Let's just say that if our cultural depictions of him are accurate, and if I had lived in the same time and place as him, that Nazarene definitely would not have died a virgin. Even if I had to make like Lot's daughters to get between the sheets with that man, I would have done so. I don't know if it's because he's so unattainable, what with being a celibate hippy man-god with strict morals and all, or maybe that image of him on the cross speaks to my inner freak, but I soooo wanna run my fingers through those locks, and I'm sure he has one dick that a lady *doesn't* wanna 'passover'.

Voting Results
37% Normal
Based on 52 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • reminiscent

    You need less Jesus

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  • anti-hero

    Why do ladies love Jesus?

    Cuz he's hung like this...

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    • I care more about his resurrection.

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    • charli.m

      On flop?

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      • anti-hero

        Cold flop

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  • loyally

    I agree with you 100%.. If Jesus came, I'd swallow.

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  • green_boogers

    "Jesus the pornstar". Now that has shock value!

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    • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

      sadly less shock value than what them incense huffin papists been doin with the altar boys

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      • green_boogers

        Theys sort of acting out the Jesus pornstar fantasy.

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  • Mikkjal

    As an asexual guy, the thought of someone being sexually "unobtainable" being sexually attractive is kind of creepy.

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  • KeddersPrincess

    Meh. Lucifer's hotter.

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  • TheChakraMantra

    This just made my day

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  • SkullsNRoses

    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6130321/1/Jesus-and-Hitler-A-Romance

    Some recommended reading for you.

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  • JJM19

    There is no evidence at all that Jesus ever existed. There is actually an astonishing lack of evidence where there absolutely should be evidence. And on top of that our cultural depiction of Jesus were he to have existed, is incredibly off.

    So yes, it is normal to have sexual fantasies about fictional characters. I do it all the time.

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  • thegypsysailor

    Celibate? Wasn't his girlfriend, possibly wife, a whore (Mary something)? I'm positive I heard that the scholars had determined he had children and that his progeny were alive today? Son of god my ass. Just a another horny bastard (literally) me thinks.

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    • reminiscent

      No two different Mary's. The church didnt want him to be married... some believe he was but a man a prophet of the lord.
      no one knows for sure if he married or had any children...but it would have been extremely uncommon to not have a wife at that time.

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    • Mary Magdelene? Sure, but I'll bet he cuts a pretty figure in a robe. I envy this women, that's for sure.

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      • thegypsysailor

        So go find one of the progeny. Maybe you could make a baby and name a descendant of Jesus, Lucifer. Wouldn't that be a hoot?

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