Is it normal to have problems with someone who youve only been on 3 dates with?

17% Normal
17 Comments

heres the story.
i met this guy last month and i really dont know if i wanna be in a relationship yet, so we are only dating.
i dont think he is ok with this, but all my other past relationships ive jumped into too quickly and therefore have been unsuccessful, so i wanted to take it a bit slower. the reason why i think he is not happy about this is, after the 3rd date, he was like " i'm ok with dating but we need to put some ground rules into place". so the first rule was i need at least 1 text and 1 call everyday and you cant see anyone else.
i suppose i was ok with this, as people who i usually like i do text and call daily, and i wouldnt have been seeing anyone else behind his back anyway.
but then last weekend, he was drunk and out on a work christmas party, he wanted attention and so called me, and when i said i wasnt travelling for an hour and a half in the middle of the night just so he could see me for 10 mins and then just pass out, he called me a bad girlfiend, and started having a go. is this normal or do you think i should let go of him, before this over possessiveness gets out of control?

Voting Results
17% Normal
Based on 42 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • ashelizax
    13 years ago

    give the guy a break, he was drunk.

    as for the rules, i don't think that necessarily deems him as crazy, abusive, controlling, or possessive, or anything like that.

    you already admit that when you like someone, you typically text and/or call them daily anyway, so what's the big deal with that?

    and he wants to date you, JUST you, exclusively? doesn't sound like you have to worry about him cheating.

    i think this guy genuinely just likes you and wants to be with you, and you're looking for reasons out due to your insecurities from past relationships. you should just keep an open mind.. after all, this is still the beginning of the "relationship".

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    • jessicia16
      13 years ago

      i aggree most with this statment.
      PS: most people on this site just tell everyone to dump everyone for most any reason ... so take advice with a big grain of salt :)

      it would be intresting to know what else he said about his drunk words the next day, but i wouldnt listen to much anyone says drunk , it doesnt mean anything.... when we get drunk we get stupid as hell ^__^

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  • DannyKanes
    13 years ago

    Omg are you fucking retarded? Dump his arse ffs

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  • 8Serene8
    13 years ago

    He has issues. Dump his ass.

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  • penpal21
    13 years ago

    Only three dates and he sets "rules" and demands exclusivity? This sounds like a very insecure and emotionally immature person. Perhaps, in the grand scheme of things, they are in your life to test your resolve in taking relationships more slowly? Sometimes we plan people in our lives as "tests" or "checkpoints" along the way. No matter, this seems destined for trouble and I'd seriously consider backing away now before it gets complicated. Best of luck to you!

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  • americanhoney
    13 years ago

    I'd stay. He sounds like awesomness personified.

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  • flyingnostalgia
    8 years ago

    Dump him in the dumpster!

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  • Koda
    8 years ago

    Don't listen to anyone who tells you that you should put up with anything as long as he's not cheating or beating you. If you don't think you could love him, then leave him. Staying is not doing you or him any favours. Love isn't "fair" or "logical" it's an emotion, so treat it like one. There's no need for weighing options when you've already answered your own questions. You don't like him. His behaviour puts you off, and it's still early, so end it now.

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  • CountryRoads
    13 years ago

    Usually at date 3 I still don't know their middle name, or really anything else for that matter. Setting rules and demanding exclusivity after such a short period of time would be a dealbreaker for me. Sometimes I'll see guys for a few months before exclusivity even comes up.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    he was drunk, i would not dump him over that. the rules thing i think is ok, because exclusivity works both ways.

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  • BoredGuy
    13 years ago

    You should consider that he was drunk. Sounds a bit weird indeed, probly cause of bad ex-gf experiences.

    @penpal21: Yea, rules sounds weird, but i would also demand exclusivity. In fact if a girl i date even think of going with someone else while we are giving it a go she can fck off.

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  • PBandG101
    13 years ago

    HE SOUNDS LIKE AN AX MURDERER!!!!

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  • SwimBikeRun
    13 years ago

    I agree with penpal. Get out now!!!!

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  • aussiewolf
    13 years ago

    i would never be with anyone who sets rules in a relationship. that is just controlling and very rude! tell him to stick it.

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  • BlueAlice
    13 years ago

    I would leave... it could turn abusive and sounds like it may already have done.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Its fine. Just as long as it isnt all the time. And if it happens too much then talk to him about it, while hes sober of course.

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  • --ash--
    13 years ago

    You know, all he wanted was a bit of loving support from you & what he get? NOTHING!

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