Is it normal to have been sexually assulted and not affected?

63% Normal
15 Comments

Granted some of the times I was I did not understand that what it was. Just thought it was uncomfortable touching. People who are attractive get harassed a lot and I have been sexually harassed by both genders before. I had people force me into stuff I really did not feel like doing but I felt dirty, took a shower, went to sleep and got over it.

When I did not realize what it was, I either thought it was just people being the general pervs that they are, or did not realize it was wrong. Such as when I was a younger child. I feel like I should care more but I not usually terribly affected by it.

Does that mean there is something wrong with my mental state? I am generally more hurt if I feel like someone is going to leave or abandon me like when my father disowned me. Yet, this stuff does not seem to be terribly detrimental. I kind of view it like I would getting in a fight. It was traumatic but I am safe now, its over, and I move forward.

Voting Results
63% Normal
Based on 19 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    I'm on the same boat as you to be honest. I think some people can just get over things easier.

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      You have no right whatsoever to make any judgments about how "some people get over things".

      People deal with trauma in whatever way works for them and in any case, it's a total myth that anyone "gets over" trauma, one just learns to live with it and manage the consequences.

      You are ignorant and judgmental and you don't know what you're talking about

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      • [Old Memory]
        8 years ago

        I have every right, and I just done it. Don't make the mistake of thinking you're the arbiter of this.

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      • wigz
        8 years ago

        Hey, chill out.

        'You have no right whatsoever to make any judgments about how "some people get over things".'

        'it's a total myth that anyone "gets over" trauma'

        Contradict yourself much?

        If he says he got over it, then how do you have the right to say he didn't? Seriously, I hate when people insist that others are forever damaged or MUST be suffering in some way still or try to dictate what should be traumatic and push that victim mentality. I get over shit easily too. Some shit doesn't even bother me at all whereas someone else might be greatly affected by it. Don't tell me how I should feel or try to sell me victimhood.

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        • Ellenna
          8 years ago

          Sorry, "anyone" in my post should've read "everyone". I made it clear that I believe everyone deals with trauma in whatever way works for them.

          I wasn't doing any of the things referred to in your last paragraph and I would never tell anyone how to feel in any given circumstance: you've misunderstood and then misrepresented me, but I do apologise if my error mentioned above contributed to that.

          I strongly believe there are far more people affected by trauma who are in denial, unable to find apprpriate support and/or being told they should be "over it" than there are people being pushed into false victimhood - who do you suggest is doing all this pushing?

          I'm not denying there's a lot of bullshit around on the part of professionals supposedly helping people who've experienced trauma: for example, an art therapist told me the reason I didn't like rules was because I'd been traumatised; another psychologist told me to protect myself from a sexual predator by writing his name on a piece of paper and putting it in my freezer; another said I was now safe because he'd dreamt I was ........

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    Everyone reacts to the trauma of sexual assault differently. I don't think there's one right or normal answer to your query. As long as you don't shame or judge others who have more severe, angry and in even enraged emotions about the trauma they've survived then I ain't mad at cha.

    Personally, I could shoot a rapist in the face, and all I'd feel is the recoil of my weapon. I'm not trying to get arrested or go to hell, but predators are worthless human garbage as far as I'm concerned. I can't tell you why you don't have as visceral a response as many others do. It's probably better that you have the reaction you do, but I'm still sorry for whatever you've suffered. Honestly, I just don't appreciate people who judge angry victims/survivors as harshly as some do.

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      Oh I wish I'd written that!

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      • RoseIsabella
        8 years ago

        High fives, sister!
        ;-)
        I appreciate your support.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    Not CONSCIOUSLY affected? Perhaps.

    I can't believe I'm saying this (because in seemingly every other case I wish it were the opposite), but I feel as if this account calls for more detail.

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  • KingTermite
    8 years ago

    People talk about the stigma attached to being a victim, but there is a lot of up-side to playing the victim card (attention and sympathy to begin with...). If you're not traumatized, you're not traumatized, there's no reason to go looking for reasons to be broken. Be glad you're resilient enough to be able to move on with as normal a life as you can.

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    • itsnotnormal12
      8 years ago

      Your are a fucking idiot.

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      Just what exactly do you mean by "playing the victim"? For your information, victim/survivors of sexual assault get very little support of sympathy and mainly negative attention: as in, she asked for it, it wasn't rape, what's all the fuss about ........

      THERE IS NO UPSIDE TO BEING SEXUALLY VIOLATED AND YOU ARE DISGUSTING TO EVEN SUGGEST SUCH A THING

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    Why did you delete some of the responses?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I didn't.

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      • RoseIsabella
        8 years ago

        Some of em are missing though... meh.
        :-|

        Okay, true confession. It makes me kinda kinda sad when comments are missing.
        :-'(

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