Is it normal to have an unrequited love for 5 years?

56% Normal
6 Comments

Hi, I'm 21 and single. I never had a girlfriend in fact. For the past five years I have been in love with this girl and she is amazing. I mean, maybe I have her a little bit idealized and on a pedestal, but I know her enough to know that she is The One. We make laugh each other, we have a lot of common interests and in some points we are totally opposite, but that is great.

But lately I feel strange. I like her, I want her to be happy. And I feel that I couldn't make her happy. She deserves anything that she wants and maybe I'm not the man for her. She is amazing and I'm not. Of course, it kills me when I see her with her boyfriend, but is ok. She is happy at least. But I don't know how to move on or if I really want it, because everytime I see a girl, I only think in my crush. She is always in my thoughts to be honest.

So, I don't know. It is too weird?

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 50 votes (28 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 6 )
  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    Feeling you don't deserve her is a confidence issue; however, being happy for her even if you're not the one dating her is love. Selflessness is apart of love.

    To get over someone you love will take some time. You'll have to stay away from her completely until the feelings fade and you develop stronger for someone else. If you want, you can confess to her and tell her you need time apart from her to get over it, so she knows why you're so distant.

    How long will this take? It depends on the person.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • Ellenna
    7 years ago

    It's normal to believe at 16 that someone is "The One" but to continue this fantasy into your twenties just means that for whatever reason you're now avoiding any chance of a real relationship with a real woman.

    You need to decide if you want to remain in this pointless state for the rest of your life or open yourself up to at least the possibility of another One who reciprocates your feelings.

    If you decide you do want to move on, the best way to do that is to move OUT: that is, move out through the restrictive boundaries you've set yourself and get out into the world, focus on other things and people and guess what, one day you'll suddenly realise you've moved on.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • 04-46
    7 years ago

    I was in a similar situation for 3½ years, starting at age 15. It was even worse because I met her only once and used to look at publicity photos made at the event where I met her which "featured" her as a bystander. I thought there were no other girls in the world, cringed at the idea of finding a "real" girlfriend and compared everyone to her. Of course, there never were anything between us and finally I moved on. I now only laugh on myself, and think I've wasted some valuable years which I'll never get back...

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Short4Words
    7 years ago

    You got two options: say your part, or run.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • bobobob
    7 years ago

    Find someone new who returns your feelings.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • mysistersshadow
    7 years ago

    Sounds more like a crush than love. After 5 years if there hasn't been a relationship there probly never will be. You should consider moving on and finding someone that returns your feelings.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0