Is it normal to have an imaginary girlfriend?
Okay, so like many of you on here, I am a virgin who masturbates frequently. I wouldn't describe it as an addiction or anything like that, just something I do about once or twice a day because I enjoy doing and sometimes, there's not much else to do.
Anyway, as my first sentence implies, I am afraid of talking to women. I believe that any girl I talk to will probably reject me for various reasons that I don't feel like getting into as of this time. I realize that having a fear of rejection is perfectly normal and that isn't why I'm on here.
The reason I'm on here is this. Over the years, as I've gained experience masturbating, I've developed this imaginary girl who I have recurrent thoughts about while masturbating. In the beginning, it was pretty simple - I just imagined the body of an attractive woman. But now, it's gotten more complicated - I imagine her talking to me, kissing me, and being with me in general, such as on Christmas, I imagined opening presents that she bought for me and then giving her some presents as well.
Whenever I'm feeling bad about something (which is often, given my high levels of stress, neurosis, and paranoia), I imagine her talking to me - she has a really nice, comforting voice and she always tells me that everything's going to be okay and then she kisses me. As of now, I have not named my imaginary girlfriend, although thinking of the perfect name has taken up a lot of my time lately.
Just for the record, I do not believe this girl really exists - that would make me psychotic. I just think about her a lot, that's all. What worries me is that I'm starting to think of this as a real relationship, as a substitute for a real girlfriend. Am I crazy for thinking this? Am I still a virgin, despite the fact that I have sex with my imaginary girlfriend regularly? Is any of this even remotely normal? Answers to these questions will be greatly appreciated.