Is it normal to have a loving relationship with someone from the global south?

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5 Comments

I met my boyfriend in a country from the Southern Cone of South American, and I'm from a first-world country. Originally, we didn't speak the same language, but I've learned Spanish. Somehow we managed to stay together despite the distance and cultural divide for over a year now. Sometimes I am incredibly ashamed of the economic disparities. We've learned so much from each other, but he has to jump through so many visa hoops and fees because the first world wants to keep the third world out. I was wondering how normal it is to have a relationship like this? What kinds of success, failures, or experiences people have had with it? How do you deal with this elephant in the room on a daily basis?

Voting Results
90% Normal
Based on 30 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I think they should make a movie or something out of this.

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  • NothingxCrazy
    12 years ago

    There is not a good succession rate.. not to upset you but you sound young and relationships don't tend to last at a young age anyway.. You're still growing and changing. You don't know what it is you want yet. It's nice to have someone you can get close to but once you hit a certain age you'll realize it's all in vain..
    Don't let this situation hold you back from your life goals.

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  • bigtoy
    12 years ago

    It's a challenge - that's what makes it interesting. You just have to see if it will stay interesting after you've gone through all the hoops and jumped all the hurdles. Often doesn't stay interesting in my experience, but you never know, everyone is different. You just have to keep an open mind about it all. Seems like you're doing that any way.
    All the best,
    M

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  • bigtoy
    12 years ago

    It's more interesting than dating the boy who lives on the corner because of the difficulties involved and you will have much to explore between you because of the cultural differences. I know this is a terrible thing to ask, but have you thought about the possibility that he is with you because he stands to gain a great deal from being with you ie visa sponsorship, someone to help him make a new life in a better country etc. I say this because I live in Brazil and I'm from the UK - there are loads of people who want to be with you because of what you have and not necessarily because they truly like you.
    Just one other thing - don't use the expression first world/third world. 1) because it is very demeaning to anyone from a developing country and 2) where is the second world? Better to say developed/developing country.
    Good luck, but be careful!

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    • clareling
      12 years ago

      Yeah the thought occurred to me too, all the time in the first couple months. It was actually terrifying at first, because it was (potentially) a very dangerous situation, and I did take precautions. I would, however, never recommend jumping into a similar situation.

      And you're absolutely right about the 1st world/3rd distinction. It's outdated, and as you pointed out, a problematic and polarizing distinction. I was using the term derisively to comment on the legal and visa barriers that disproportionally affect the developing world.

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