Is it normal to have a crush while on a relationship?

71% Normal
20 Comments

I've met a new friend whom i love hanging out with, I think he's fun and I'd love to hang out with him, just like one of the dudes, watch movies, smoke weed, etc. I feel it was "bestfriendship at first sight".

The thing is I'm in a relationship and my bf has already told me to be careful because it seems this guy is into me. And I don't really want one thing to ruin the other, I dont want to piss my bf but I just really want to have a guy friend like I used to have when I was a teen, I miss that.
Of course i feel super guilty because wanting to be friends can be seen as "leading him on" and I don't want to, I just want to hang out! I miss having male friends!

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 31 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    Careful.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I'm confused about what this may mean.

      On one hand, it's just a harmless friendship and there's nothing to worry about.

      On the other, if this means I like the other guy... wouldn't that be a sign that I'm bored in my current relationship? And wouldn't that be bad itself too?

      This has happened to me ages ago and it was similar. I was angry and bored with my boyfriend and I started noticing I liked another guy. As soon as I was sure that wasn't going away, I broke up with my boyfriend. Then the other thing ended up being meaningless and after a while I got back with my boyfriend. Worst decision ever: we got together and it took me another 3 or 4 years to finally realize he was an idiot, haha.

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      • RoseIsabella
        8 years ago

        I think you answered that one better than I could.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          oh, snap!

          (thank you, bella)

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  • trytoforgetthis
    8 years ago

    I've always had guy friends, regardless of being in a relationship or not. I believe that's when it comes down to trust. Does your boyfriend trust you? Not only that, but does your boyfriend trust this guy? Why not hang out all together? If anyone feels awkward about it, then you decide what's more important to you, friendship or boyfriendship, eh?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      thanks :)

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  • Short4Words
    8 years ago

    Woah. Sounds like you're under some strong self-deception.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I'm in fact very confused.

      In what direction do you think the self-deception goes? I really need your perspective.

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      • Short4Words
        8 years ago

        In that you call him a crush one minute and then talk about pursuing a friendship. It's pretty obvious you'd like to keep him around for something to happen.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Oh I see, you are right.

          I wasn't even sure how to convey mi question. I'm driving myself crazy :(

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  • sandraasiilva
    8 years ago

    Don't feed that feeling. It will bring effects that will hurt everyone. Be friends, but keep a certain distance.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      That's a good point, thanks.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    You are probably headed down a road that will cause both guys and yourself a lot of pain. When you are in a relationship, it just isn't proper to be that invested in another guy.
    Time to choose one or the other and stop messing about.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      It worries me to think that maybe I'm so sad in my relationship that I find this friendship soooo refreshing and make such a deal of it.

      (The only mess is in my head, I don't plan to hurt anybody.)

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      • thegypsysailor
        8 years ago

        As some Scottish poet a few hundred years back maybe said, "The best-laid plans of mice and men (women, in this case) often go awry...."

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          you are wise, thaks

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          • RoyRogers
            8 years ago

            1.I dont understand why you say you have a crush and than say "Oh I just want a friend" that really does not make sense. Either you are confused about whats happening, or you want to fuck him and are lying. Make up your mind. Until you do we cant really give you great feedback.

            2.Yes, if you are friends with a guy who obviously trying to get in your pants while you are taken I think its betraying your BF.

            3.I dont see anything wrong with having male friends while dating a guy, unless of course scenario 2 is the case.

            4.Why did you suddenly drop all your male friends when you got a BF? Did your BF make you get rid of all your guy friends? Since if he did that sounds like an issue with your BF.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              Thanks for trying to clarify my already confusing information.

              I was writing a very long answer and then I just had an epiphany of what may be going on here.
              I have met new male friends since I have a BF, a good example is one guy whom I was working on a project with. We held meetings just the 2 of us and it was ok because it was all about the project and I could tell that he was not at all interested in flirting or anything more than a successful project and being just friends.

              This new guy... he has another vibe. We spend more time talking than actually working, from day one. I see the difference now. That's what's been making me feel awkward.

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