Is it normal to hate that people are angry for how my brother got his job?

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16 Comments

My older brother came home from his 2nd tour in Iraq with PTSD, his contract had expired and he was not re-enlisting. It was subtle at first, but then emerged as violent outbursts and fits of crying afterwards. My parents told me that he watched his best friend die in combat during an ambush, but told me that I would be unable to handle the details. My brother left home and got hooked on heroin, and my parents as well as police looked for him for 8 months. We later found him in a hospital, having been beat severely, because my Mom has a colleague in the ICU who recognized him and reported him to my Mom.

My parents used every resource at their disposal to get him help and get him off the heroin and to help him readjust to civilian life. He got clean, and my parents contacted a friend of theirs and that friend hooked him up with a job in his company. Not high paying, but it paid a living wage and it is improving his lifestyle and his attitude dramatically. I honestly believe that having that job is what is most responsible for helping him overcome his addiction and PTSD.

The problem is that many members in and outside of the company have criticized him for taking a job that he did not deserve. He was not very qualified for it, but was given it because of a business connection my father had - not because he "earned" it. He hears it all of the time, that he didn't earn the job, that it should have been given to one of the more qualified applicants, and it even bothers him as well. His boss tells him that his work ethic alone makes him more productive than other, more-qualified holders of that position in his company but that provides little solace to any of us.

It pisses me off. This man put his life on the line to serve our country, no matter whether or not anyone agrees with the war, he did what he did for his country and this job has done much more good for him than anything else could have possibly done. I'm sick of hearing from people that he doesn't deserve the job!!! They sure as hell wouldn't be complaining about a job THEY got through a connection, would they?

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86% Normal
Based on 37 votes (32 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • dappled
    11 years ago

    I believe soldiering is a job not an act of heroism. I feel the same about firemen, policemen, and fisherman. I'm glad somebody does it, and I don't deny they are brave, but it's still a job and I don't think it entitles you to special treatment.

    However, in your specific case, I can't see that your brother has much more special treatment than most people get. God only knows why his co-workers are carping at him and I think they should probably just shut the fuck up and get on with something productive; like working. Actually, maybe that's it. Maybe his work ethic is making them feel insecure so they're picking on whatever they can. Either way, they sound pathetic.

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    • VioletTrees
      11 years ago

      I read that as "I believe soldering is a job not an act of heroism", and it was much less controversial.

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      • dappled
        11 years ago

        That's exactly how I meant it, yeah. I wasn't even being critical of soldiers (it's a tough, dangerous job).

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        • NeuroNeptunian
          11 years ago

          I do not disagree with you, rather, I am intrigued by your statement and would like to hear your argument for it.

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          • dappled
            11 years ago

            I was divorcing heroism from a "cause" and talking about something more important; personal bravery. In England, the most dangerous job (in terms of loss of life) is fishing.

            Soldiers fight when there is a war (even a war that few people agree with, such as trying to bring about cheaper oil). It is dangerous and they are brave and every country tells itself that they are protecting their country. We make films about it and we brand them heroes. The reality of how veterans are treated shows how governments really consider them, which is - in itself - shameful. But it is a job with a salary like any other. It's not a mission people take on independently.

            Compare it to fishermen, though. Their war with the sea is lifelong. They die horrible deaths with alarming regularity. Their bravery isn't in defence of a country, it's just to catch fish. They risk their lives more readily than soldiers (statistically) and have less of a reason to do it.

            It's like the difference between tackling a burglar in your own home, and risking your life to feed your neighbours.

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            • NeuroNeptunian
              11 years ago

              I'm still very intrigued. At the risk of making you believe that I am arguing with you, let me inform you that my questions are merely exploratory in terms of the subject and your opinion...

              What of the act of heroism in taking the risky job that millions WON'T take (as statistically, most people do not serve in the Armed forces)? Or do you consider the willingness to take the risk and willingness to sign up for a possible fatality on a battlefield not "heroic"?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I don't know what to say about your remarks regarding soldiers but you have given me something to think about. Thanks for your input.

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      • dappled
        11 years ago

        It's an unpopular opinion, I know, but I wasn't going to lie about it.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    lots of people get jobs thru connections even subtly, try not to worry about what people say they can go jump

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  • Jilden69
    11 years ago

    Haters gunna hate

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  • VioletTrees
    11 years ago

    People are being awful to your brother, and it's normal to be angry about that.

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