Is it normal to hate my mother?

63% Normal
8 Comments

My mom and I never had a close/understanding relationship to begin with. I don't know why can't really remember anymore but we always got on each others' nerves. So she is very strict on morality I guess and likes to debates about it and get very worked up over it internally. If she don't like what you said she'll yell and walk away. Anyway so I know she's been going into my room to "tidy it" though a) it's not messy and b) she also moves some private things around like my diary where I really vent my deepest things and it's not cool and she does it only when I'm in school and she's done it 3 times now.

Now about 2 months ago she walked into my room while I was sleeping and took some nail filer. Then she came back to put it back and it woke me up and bearing in mind everything she's done before I said, "what are you doing?" in a rather fierce way. Well then she got furious and said why are you accusing me. Later she and I got into a yelling match because she came into my room and demanded an apology to which I said, "I'm sorry. But you also can't come into my room whenever you want because it's private." Then she something really weird and stupid - pointed at the stuff in my room and said none of this was mine. Then I was confused (what am i just renting this stuff? Then at 21 she's gonna take it all away?) so I said eventually you have to give me something. Her face got very scrunched up and she said haven't I given you enough? More yelling.

After that when I tried to apologise she told me she doesn't want to hear it. I tried 2 times. Both she just lectured me on how I'm not sincere. Well fact is I'm not, she shouldn't have said those things or go into my room looking through my private things before. So it's been 2 months and we just avoid being in the same room. She feeds me. She also assumes I'm struggling in uni but then I get great results and show her. She congratulates me over text. I hate this I want to move out and never speak to this crazy person again.

Voting Results
63% Normal
Based on 30 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • SweetDreamsRubi
    7 years ago

    Idk about other families but it is all completely normal.. hell my mom was worst but in high school I started to understand its just cause my mom had a worst childhood lol ...she's calmer now and we don't talk about anything that happened.. I love my mom now :)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      I hope it will turn out alright. Thanks for the reassurance. And the smiley :)

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      • SweetDreamsRubi
        7 years ago

        It will, just don't hold on to your anger... also for your diary I used to keep my personal stuff in my pillow casing and make my bed nice and neat then Id be ok with everything else she moved around cause I still had my things secure.. lol and no problem I hope you guys work things out :)

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  • Mario214
    7 years ago

    I agree with #SweetDreamsRubi. This seems normal. She is your mother. She is not perfect but you need to understand few things too.

    1. She cleans your room because she cares about you.

    2. It's your private stuff. It's your resposiblity to keep it private. Lock it, hide it do whatever you want but keep it out of plain sight and if you do, don't complain.

    3. When you yell at her, you look like a spoiled child. It's obvious for anyone to judge you like that.

    4. Do you contribute financially towards the house.? If no, you should be grateful that she feeds you after your way towards her.

    5. There is a 90 percent chance that she never read your private stuff. If she did she would have mentioned it. If she is clever enough to read and never mention, she would have placed your diary in the exact same place after reading.
    Be assured. She just moved it because she was cleaning your room.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Yeah I know it is wrong to hate your mom...deep down I think I wanted someone to prove to me that she isn't that. The fact is things could be much worse. Yes I am a child. Thanks I needed the step by step rebuttal. (Not being sarcastic here seriously)

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      • Mario214
        7 years ago

        I am glad for your positive attitude towards this. It shows that things will be better real soon. Wish you the best. :)

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  • (s)aint
    7 years ago

    Well, Your mum seems a bit more extreme than mine.
    But take comfort in knowing that my situation greatly improved when I got to move out.

    I´ve ADHD, she is VERY strict with cleaning and would sneer at me for leaving some drops of water on the sink or bread crumbs.

    I know her behavious is proobably behind some of my insecurities with others (Never knowing how they will react or what mood they will be in) But it´s fine because she´s also a really great support and fight like a tiger when OTHERS treats me poorly.
    And she is trying to understand that it´s not out of cruelty I forget to clean or make sure I tidy.
    With emphasis on trying.

    Now when we aren´t under the same roof anymore we get along, mostly. When she´s not behaving I just wont interract with her until things settles.

    In your situation your mum seems to have some serious issues, she should not go through your private stuff or sneak into your room :l That isn´t normal.

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  • RoseIsabella
    7 years ago

    My mother was crazy like that. She was always going through my shit, and although I've mellowed a bit in my anger I think I still resent her for it. I love and crave privacy and respect. I do wish that someday my mother would admit she was wrong, and apologize to me for the way she treated me when I was younger. To tell you the truth I honestly think she will get or Alzheimer's or dementia before she ever apologizes for any of it. It hurts and upsets me, but what can I do. She's in her later 70's so there's that whole mortality thing, therefore I find myself in a position where what would most likely serve me best would be to forgive her. I hope when you've come to the same conclusions as I, of your own free will and in God's time, that you have an easier time than myself.

    I sincerely wish you all the best in gaining peace and serenity in your life regarding this issue.
    @-->--'---
    ;-)
    ♡♡♡

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