Is it normal to hate kissing?

64% Normal
19 Comments

I am female of course and have been with my boyfriend for two years now and I think I have never kissed him longer than 3 seconds. Never made out, never had his tongue in my mouth. He's my first boyfriend and I lost my virginity to him. I think I love him but sometimes I hate him.

I think the real issue is that he takes a lot of meds and isn't the best in the hygiene area so honestly his mouth is gross but even if he just brushes I just can't stand the idea of locking lips for anything more than a smooch or peck. My mom hates kissing so maybe its rubbed off on me over the years -- I am scared I'll never want to kiss anyone, no matter how sexy or clean and I feel as if not only am I missing out but my boyfriend is too.

Is it normal to hate kissing or at over 20 years old should I get over myself?

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 28 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • omgcatz
    9 years ago

    I think it's normal. I think kissing is disgusting, swapping all those germs (but for some reason, I still like doing it). But if I smell even a hint of bad breath I run the opposite direction. I can't imagine kissing strangers, for example, like some people do. That would make me vomit.

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  • TrustMeImLying
    9 years ago

    I voted normal. Especially since you mention your mom which implies it may just be a preference that's genetic, and not due to any initial experience.

    I can't remember where I read/heard this but there are regions/cultures in the world that find kissing disgusting too. And while I certainly don't, I can still understand such a point of view... given the enormous amount of microbes a mouth has. No other spot on your body do you need to clean/manage as often. Do you find the texture/sensation of kissing disgusting or is it the fear that it might taste bad?

    I know I'd be super bummed if I dated a girl who didn't like kissing. Maybe I'd walk around with a chocolate-dipped strawberry between my lips. You could always compensate by rubbing noses. Or cheek hugs. Butterfly kisses. Fishy kisses? :∞

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    • cocoapeaches
      9 years ago

      I never imagined it could be genetic but my whole family is kinda standoffish about contact -- now that I think about it I don't think I've ever seen anyone kiss anyone in my family kiss a partner and its kind of interesting to think about nature vs. nurture.

      But now I am even more worried -- never been worried about the taste but I imagine it would be awful. I know he must be bummed about it too, and I feel awful I can't bring myself to lock lips. I do pecks on foreheads, cheeks, all that in an attempt to be intimate.

      I promise to try it though, at least once!

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      • TrustMeImLying
        9 years ago

        Not seeing anyone kiss another is one thing (some people may not like to kiss in front of others) and sure there's the fact that your mom dislikes it, but I -still- wouldn't claim it's 100% in your nature to dislike kissing. You're only 20, you'll like it in due time, I bet you 50 blueberry muffins! But don't go on and like, force yourself to kiss an unappealing mouth

        It may very well be as simple as the "real issue" that you described in your original post. A few first bad kisses can totally repulse a person from the idea of kissing. I also just realized... have you talked to him about his oral hygiene? Or have you told him just that you disliked kissing?

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        • cocoapeaches
          9 years ago

          I have discussed both of these issues with him, though I have talked about not liking kissing much less because I am just realizing it may be a bigger issue.

          His hygiene I have talked to him about several times and he might improve for a day, might go brush his teeth then, but either doesn't care or isn't able to. I just can't get over the original sight of his mouth. It was disgusting and I am worried I will never be able to get over it even though he's switched a few meds and its a bit better overall.

          I still find myself staring at his mouth in horror most times. He's a pretty oblivious guy when it comes to hygiene in general, blames it on a disorder, but I figured if he loved me or really wanted me to try kissing he would make an actual effort. And yes, I have said this to him. He claims he's changed, but still ugh. I mean one night he fell asleep with fucking chocolate in his mouth and woke up with it all over his teeth. Like, A LOT of chocolate.

          End of rant.

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  • Reinaros
    9 years ago

    Hmm, maybe it's more the boyfriend lips and less the kissing?

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  • exotiqa
    9 years ago

    I couldn't be with someone who's breath constantly smells like he's got halitosis. Especially if his teeth are nasty. But your strong for dealing with it for so long. If you feel it's ruining the relationship, definitely tell him it's pushin you away. I mean I can understand morning breath, but if your breath stank 365 then we've got a problem. I'm picky with oral appearance and strive for clean oral hygiene. You'll eventually figure out your own solution to the problem and hope it all works out for the best.

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    • cocoapeaches
      9 years ago

      Oddly, his breath doesn't smell or I at least don't notice, but maybe this is because I keep my distance. It's just icky with crud generally.

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  • Mersaphe
    9 years ago

    kissing is disgusting for sure. did you know that a person's mouth has more bacteria than a toilet seat? avoiding kissing doesn't mean you're weird, it means you're smart.

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  • 1.618033989
    9 years ago

    I actually have a SERIOUS kissing fetish. Just thinking about kissing makes me get rock hard and my face turns red!

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  • vergil7
    9 years ago

    kiss my pen is

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  • pixie44
    9 years ago

    Well aren't we the only species that kisses? Or am i wrong idk?

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    • Reinaros
      9 years ago

      Bonobos do it.

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    • cocoapeaches
      9 years ago

      Nah, I am sure plenty of animals do. Take for example the Kissing Gourami.

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      • pixie44
        9 years ago

        Omg they are so cute!

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  • snowyshadow
    9 years ago

    Normal! You should talk to him about it in a very gentle way.

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    • cocoapeaches
      9 years ago

      Oh I have. I have, I have, I have but he doesn't change much whether I am gentle or outright disgusted. It hurts that he doesn't try for me and I really don't want to break up over this.

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    Try Eskimo kisses instead.

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  • green_boogers
    9 years ago

    You probably never will like kissing. Get a boyfriend that dislikes it as well. Otherwise, you will never fulfill his desires.

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