Is it normal to hate getting gifts?

86% Normal
3 Comments

Whenever I get presents, whether it's my birthday or just randomly, I hate it! It makes me anxious and it makes me feel awkward.

When someone gives me something, like my father, somehow I know he's keeping tallies on how many times he's gotten stuff for me so that he can bitch at me some more about how all I do is take and I never give back, which he says a lot...

Today I received one of those writing boards out of no where from him. He held it out not within my reach and simply said "do you want this or not?" What was I supposed to say? I didn't know I was a gift FOR me, so I felt very uncomfortable taking it from him. So I said "well, I'm not sure when I would use it or where to put it..." (because I have things laying on my floor now because my room is so tiny and I have no place to put things. Then my mind raced. Is he going to start throwing things if he one day comes into my room and sees it laying on the floor? What does he want from me? What If I don't use it and he says I'm a waste again because I don't use the things he buys for me. So he kinda made a fuss over it until I accepted it from him. But then I thought what if I don't give him the expression he thinks he should receive when I get a gift? Do I not look happy enough? Did I just make everything awkward for him? What if I don't prove that I like it enough and he becomes angry with me again... And when I was trying to use it, I felt very awkward and uncomfortable to the point where I actually felt stressed out! I didn't even want to use it. Now or ever again. I just want to throw it away and pretend this was all a funny memory... But I can't do that either...

2 hours later and I STILL feel really awkward...

Is it normal that I don't like receiving gifts?

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 29 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • Agent5
    8 years ago

    I believe that Winston Churchill said once that he hated to receive gifts b/c he really dreaded having to write thank you notes. Just try your best to find a positive thing about what you have been given to be grateful for, no matter how cheesy it might be. It sounds like he is desperately striving for validation from you, and possibly overcompensating with materialistic things to fill in an emotional gap because he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings of guilt. Don't blame yourself. Just throw him a crumb when he gets weird. Force a smile. Hang that thing up proudly and write on it "this is the most fantastic wallboard I have ever seen! Lucky me!" Force that enthusiasm Maybe you could use it to leave him notes asking him for stuff that you really want or need, like a wall shelf or a small trunk to store all of your "treasures" in. If you can make him feel appreciated a few times, I think he might stop with the thoughtless gifts for confrontational bait. Please don't take his neurotic behavior personally. it isn't your fault, you just need to outsmart him a little. When my birthday or Christmas come around and people that love or feel obliged to give me a present started asking me what I wanted, I would tell them that I am so blessed to have everything I need and what I really want is for them to go buy something pretty for themselves. It took a few years, but they are trained now. Most of them just don't ask any more, often there is just money . "Money! How did you know! Just what I needed you're the best!"

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  • Limes
    8 years ago

    I am often told that I look like I'm ungrateful for the gifts I get and people always ask me if I don't like it. I don't really know how I should react when someone gives me something, and so I never look forward to receiving gifts. But if your dad says things like that to you and he's making you accept the gifts, it's no wonder why you don't like recieving them.

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  • kittycatbootydance
    8 years ago

    You are clearly over analyzing the situation. You are probably over thinking alot in your life. When I find myself doing that it is usually because I have way too much time on my hands. A hobby might preoccupy your mind enough to avoid this. I have a sister in law that acts like this. To the point where I have to tell my brother ahead of time that we are sending his daughter a gift. Otherwise she will throw it away and say she never got it. She also dreads thanking people for things. Making it uncomfortable for no reason. Sometimes people just like to give. And if you are not one of those people you may be thinking there is an alternative motive when there is not.

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