Is it normal to get what you wanted to get but now doesn't know how to take it?

59% Normal
5 Comments

My last relationship was very easy...as in I could be completely myself and my bf accepted it. That sounds like ideal in a relationship but not when even your bad character traits take over. I have always been honest with myself and I noticed whenever my attitude would take over and I didn't like it. My bf was basically a pushover and I hated that. Sometimes i would test him to see if he would tell me NO for once but he just went along with it. That plus other things made me want to break up with him and wanting to find someone who would put me in my place and grow into a better person. I guess I have found someone who does just that and I don't know how to take it. Its come down to where he can hurt my feelings and I suffer from low self-esteem. Recently Ive been trying to avoid his mean comments and tell myself, I love who I am and accept it and have to find someone who loves it (kind of like my ex). But then I think wait this is what I wanted...someone to basically put me on the spot. Idk where to go with this...do I take advantage of it and ask him okay show me how I can be better OR do I just walk away because it can be hurtful sometimes and effecting my self-esteem? Normally pple would say find someone who accepts you in these situations but like I said, I can be honest with myself and if I know hes right about something I just go with it but then I feel like I just look lower than him and I don't like that. I want him to see the confidence in me and that he's not always the right one. What do I do?

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 17 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • dom180
    10 years ago

    I think when you have parts of your personality you don't like, you need to be allowed to express them before you learn anything about them. The liberation you get from expressing yourself completely allows you grow. The point about growth is that it doesn't happen all at once, you have to make mistakes and learn from them without anyone telling you what to do. Being in a relationship with someone who is picky and stubborn is no substitute or shortcut to that. Having your personality repressed isn't "growing", it's the exact opposite.

    I think an extended period of being single might do you some good. It allows you to see your options more clearly.

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  • Sog
    10 years ago

    I don't think you ever actually wanted to be in the type of relationship that you're in now. That was just a convenient way of blaming your last boyfriend for your own selfish actions.

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  • Freedom_
    10 years ago

    So you wanted a daddy, but you can't take the beatings and mommy was too nice... Not many people know themselves well enough to be able to choose the personality type of their mate. Be yourself wholeheartedly and perhaps then you will attract the right kind of person to you. Ideal romantic partnerships grow together. If you need advice on your behavior ask your parents.

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  • ucipher8
    10 years ago

    You are officially a grown up. Welcome. It sucks.

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  • ThisIsImpossible
    10 years ago

    Since when is it up to someone else to make you a better person? Thats kinda fucked up that youd be a dick to your ex on purpose, but whatever man have fun learning to be the pretender.

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