Is it normal to fight this much over everything

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10 Comments

so I left my husband because communications broke down to the point to where we could not talk without fighting.I am probably not going to bother filing for divorce because I don't want to see him again.A divorce would make him really mad and there is no telling what he would be capable of.

I miscarried because he would get so mad and hit me and punch me.once he even strangled me, but I was really sarcastic that day.i couldn't deal with him stomping all around the apartment staring at me and him forcing a conversation when I need personal space and I am angry at him.

Then he would say none of it happened the way i thought it did and I fabricated the whole thing for my own personal enjoyment.This whole thing is fucking with my mind. Like how did we get this bad. If I couldn't make things work with him, can I make any relationship work?

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Based on 40 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • sillygirl77
    7 years ago

    What happened in this relationship isn't normal, but it doesn't mean you can't make another relationship work. It sounds like your husband is volatile and abusive to say the least. Not all people are like that.

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  • AbnormallyAwesome
    7 years ago

    Normal people don't hit their spouse. Good people don't hit anyone. It's important you understand your husband was exceptionally vicious and you do not need to take this from anybody. It's not at all okay. There's a billion guys out there who would never harm you, I'm sure you could find one.

    As for the divorce: If you're afraid of what your husband might do if you divorce him, I'd suggest you go to the police and ask them how to handle it.

    Good luck. I really hope you'll find a better life.

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    • Ellenna
      7 years ago

      Good response except for the suggestion about the police: what on earth do you think they can do for her in this situation? Despite all the lovely rhetoric about "awareness" most of them do nothing or make a situation worse, and how on earth could they take any meaningful action based on OP's fear of what her ex may do?

      She's made the right decision to not bother with a divorce: if there are no kids or property involved why bother unless/until she wants to remarry?

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      • AbnormallyAwesome
        7 years ago

        I don't know where she lives and maybe the police really can't do anything there. But it can't hurt to ask. They must have a lot of experience with cases like this and maybe they know what solutions work best. Maybe she can get a restraining order or something, I really don't know. That's why I'd ask the professionals.

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  • RoseIsabella
    7 years ago

    What happened was not normal, and it's great that you got away from this terrible person, but you still need to get some help as soon as possible.

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  • justJenn
    7 years ago

    What he's doing is called "gas lighting." Be thankful you are out of there and can now have a better perspective. Don't go back!!!!!

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  • Coryno.18931205
    7 years ago

    where does he live he's dead I'm going to rip off his head and shit down his neck

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  • finn
    7 years ago

    You stayed with him even after the miscarriage? If you did, then that's on you.

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    • sparklycupcake
      7 years ago

      that is why I left

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  • Ellenna
    7 years ago

    Unless your marriage was part of a pattern of involvement with violent disrespectful argumentative men, there's no reason why you can't have good relationships in the future.

    Give yourself time to get over the trauma and don't rush into anything new for a while: your self-esteem will have taken a battering in this toxic marriage so you may want to consider therapy to get strong again. It would also help if you can get some support from one of the many women's groups dealing with family violence.

    Good luck and good on you for getting out of the marriage.

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