Is it normal to fight as intensively as you love?

My new gf and I are both capricorns. Both very similar. Both like art and music. Both hold grudges and are mistrusting. Both smoke weed and cigarettes. Both like animals and video games. We have as much in common as we have different. She is a die hard catholic born n raised by her first generation Mexican American parents, I'm white and atheist. She went to rehab for a mental breakdown and is on antipsychotics (before I knew her) and I went for heroin and am on methadone. She has a cat, I have a dog and rats, she hates rats. She is very outgoing, and I'm kind of introverted. The thing is, we have the most incredible sex. I've had good sex before, but not like this, every single time we fall of that edge at the same exact time. It's awesome. We love each other, atleast I love her to death. But we also fight. A lot. At first I took it as her trying to mold me into what she wants, the perfection that I wasn't before, but I've come to learn it's because she cares. And most of these things she complains about are things I (if I'm honest with myself) I take issue with. I've never been in a relationship like this before, it's a roller coaster and I can't get off even if I wanted to. My explanation is that passion burns as brightly no matter where you spark it. I feel like we are two N sides two magnets being forced together, and other times I feel as if we are two halves of the same. I'm wondering if this is normal when you find someone you think could be your soulmate. The anxiety of being possibly wrong, the roller coaster feeling, how she holds my attention without even trying?

Voting Results
60% Normal
Based on 15 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Tarkio

    You have found her. Passion is the key

    @PieGoblin Are you a mormon? Your relationship and his parent's relationship sound superficial and lacks honesty. Humans are fighters. Thats life babe.

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  • Nokiot9

    Lol so there IS somebody out there that won't fight with me? At all? Do you have some land to sell me too?

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  • miskris

    Fighting in a relationship is healthy, it shows that things aren't passively accepted but thought and worked through. If the fighting becomes physically or verbally abusive I would take a second look at what you want out of this relationship. It seems like you've found someone you're comfortable enough with to bring up opposing thoughts, feelings, and ideas. HOWEVER, watch your fighting carefully before it turns sour.

    So overall, yes totally normal

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  • PieGoblin^^

    You know, I would really like to go up to every single person on the face of the earth who says relationships aren't healthy unless you fight, and I would like to stab them in the throat.

    I've been in a lot of awful, disfunctional relationships before and we always fought, about everything. Was it healthy? Fuck no. It drove me insane and I became bitter and unhappy. My current boyfriend is the absolute love of my life. We've been together for over a year, haven't had one single argument, and I love it. I've never felt more comfortable in a relationship before. We share all the same interests, likes and dislikes.

    His parents never argue either, and they just celebrated their 26th wedding anniversary a couple months back.

    I think its great that you and your girlfriend are inlove and passionate about one another, but be careful of all the fighting. Nobody likes fighting, and too much of it can drive an emotional wedge between the two of you.

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