Is it normal to feel worthless

63% Normal
20 Comments

I feel utterly worthless. I lost my home and job 2 years ago and have lived in my car ever since. I have not recieved a call back or interview for any jobs during this time despite sending over 1000 resumes. As a result i work shit day labor jobs for minimum wage.

I have no friends and my family has disowned me. They have not invited me over since becoming homeless.

There are times when I don't speak to anyone for days.

I keep up my hygeine and appearance and wouldn't appear homeless so thats not the reasons for people being distant.

I think about dying every day. No one would miss me and I am pretty much worthless to anyone in life in this situation.

I would like to live and get out of this but anything I try ends up for nothing. I meet people and they never contact me or follow up even tho i reach out.

I'm just invisable to the world.

Voting Results
63% Normal
Based on 16 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    This post is sad... I'm sorry you're having such a hard time now. As far as advice - Have you considered going to a local recruiting or staffing company and talking to them about your job situation? (You don't need to mention other issues like living in your car). They can likely give you career advice and or help you put together a strong resume so that you can get a better job. A better job wouldn't fix everything, but I don't see how it could hurt.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      There hasn't been a job oportunity or advice I haven't looked into which was within my means, so yes.

      One thing about living in your car. You can't really take jobs that requires pressed clothing so there are a few limitations. What I will need to find now is something that will allow me to step back into housing so that I will have access to an iron etc.

      Even as I type that, I have still applied to jobs in my field that would require such clothing and have not even gotten a first interview. My paranoid side says I'm black balled from my field but I am probably not. (I'm also not just looking at my field I've applied to everythimg immaginable).

      I have a masters degree in business and engineering btw so it's not a lack of knowledge of how to prepare for a job hunt. I used to be very successful but I do appreciate the thoughts. The longer you are out of work in certain fields of work, the less desirable you become as a candidate. I am well passed that point.

      I'm just invisible.

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      • SweetSarah
        6 years ago

        jw.org

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      • [Old Memory]
        6 years ago

        Hmm. I think you might feel invisible because you don't have close relationships. I'm bad at forming those, so I'm not the best person to ask. But anyway - Have you considered joining a weekend event group or taking a hobby class?

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  • edreams
    6 years ago

    Try Secondchances.com tell them everything. Let them know that you are down on your luck. They are career social workers and can give you excellent advice! I have been homeless and it is virtually impossible to get an interview if you have no home address. second chances.com can help you with that too. Good luck in your quest. You do have people that care, we all do, even though there are times we deny it. Take each day one breath at a time.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Thank you I appreciate it. I amazed I havent heard of it.

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      • edreams
        6 years ago

        it may not cover the area in which you live, but they all have connections and will be able to help you.

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  • SmokeEverything
    6 years ago

    I sympathize with your situation, you seem to be placing too much of your self-worth in other people's views of you. At this point you don't have a home and a stable career. But there are people out there putting on the facade of having a perfect family, nice home, and amazing jobs who go to bed thinking about dying every night. I would try to meet more people, just make friends. You seem to be isolating yourself and that to me would be the most difficult part of the situation. Ive lived in vans and worked crap jobs for money and been happy as long as there are people around. Ive had many friends who are homeless.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      To add, when you're mother, father and sister won't even acknowledge you, and tell you you're not welcome, it becomes increadibly difficult to have faith that other people will be accepting. I know some are, but overcoming that has been difficult, cause I feel like a peice of shit and can't fathom how they could be so cruel. It plays mind tricks on me because I wonder if I am missing something that I did to be rejected out of hand.

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      • SmokeEverything
        6 years ago

        Im not a psychologist or anything, but if you want advice dealing with your situation:

        1) There's no shame in living in a car. It sounds like you're afraid of people judging or thinking less of you, To that I always try to remember that the judgements of strangers and people who aren't your friends don't matter to you. If some random stranger wants to think you're a POS for falling on hard times or not meeting society's shallow benchmarks for success, realize that this person's opinion is basically worth shit to you because they aren't a part of your life.

        2) Family situations and estrangement are hard. I'm estranged from most of my family and those that I do talk to wouldn't let me stay with them. Again, just because somebody is related to you doesn't mean their opinion of you should carry any weight if it's negative. Many people draw the short straw with the families that they're born into not understanding or caring about them. You cant dedicate your entire life to meeting their expectations, because then there's nothing left for you. Sometimes you have to walk away from toxic people.

        Stop trying to "make it" or force your life to become something that you think will impress others. If you're unhappy in the situation you're in you just need to try to figure out what it is that YOU want, and not what toxic family members or judgemental strangers think. If you can be comfortable with who you are, like minded people will gravitate to you. Learn an instrument, travel around, suddenly living in a car is a helpful lifestyle feature rather than a hindrance. You might just be in a crappy area. There's plenty of other places to go and people to meet, and getting comfortable with meeting new people in new places will come with time.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      You're right I do isolate a lot but I also reach out to people every day. It's pretty tough meeting new people when homeless because I don't feel I can even answer simple questions. The first two are usually where do you work or what do you do, followed by where do you live.

      I don't have the balls to anwser these questions honestly or the social skills to deflect them.

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  • rayb12
    6 years ago

    Damnnn, I have nothing helpful to contribute, IMO you've got it made though, I loved living in a car, and also fuck ur family. I think you gotta look at what you have and how rich u are. Im living in Asia now, and ppl here would kill for ur situation. You are so much more free than people even with more money than you. And ur life is so much more interesting. If everything went 'right' you would be blind your whole life. Of course your situation will change, "improve" if you like, but once you have the stresses of social obligations and bills you'll have moments you miss the car. I'd say enjoy it! And maybe start vlogging, I loved doing that. I'm sure you'll figure something out bro

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  • idrankyourmilkshake
    6 years ago

    It's normal to have emotions, yes, especially given your situation.
    I cant really give much advice as I can't relate to being homeless, I do have zero friends though, so you, me, and so many other people have that much in common. You are definitely not worthless, I know it might be hard to accept that when it seems there's nobody there but you gotta stay strong. There were a lot of times I felt like I didnt deserve anyone or anything and that i should just end my life and I'm so glad I didn't go through with those intrusive thoughts. I'm dealing with loneliness and self-doubt myself, all I can ask you to do is tell yourself you ARE worth it and stay strong. Good times will come

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Thanks, I am sorry you are friendless too.

      Literally the only way anyone would know I was dead is my car would be found abandoned with me in there. If you think about that it means that the parking space being full holds more value than my life, since it would be noticed before anyone noticed me gone. I am worth less to people than a parking spot.

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  • bob7
    6 years ago

    I would like to see that resume that you have sent 1000 times and wasnt able to get an interview

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    • Kevinevan
      6 years ago

      Yeah someone who just admitted all their darkest secrets about being homeless and how they feel worthless and invisible is really going to want to let you tie a name to their story...idiot.

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      • bob7
        6 years ago

        He can blur it out

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  • bubsy
    6 years ago

    Do the things that let you sleep at night knowing the day wasn't wasted. What you need to do are the things you are resisting: force yourself to work and socialize.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I work every day, why do you say I am resisting work? Socializing is more difficult since I don't have many opportunities to talk with people but when I get a chance I do. It just never results in friendships.

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      • bubsy
        6 years ago

        You don't have opportunities to talk at work? And keep in mind small talk is a skill that must be trained, and can lead to some of the largest relationships of your life.

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