Is it normal to feel uncared for

79% Normal
4 Comments

I guess I've often had this feeling that I'm not really that important to my friends. But recently, it makes me feel even worse since I've been going through quite the rough patch at work.

Briefly: I've had some serious trouble with my supervisor (e.g threats to fire me, whole afternoons of her yelling personal insults at me with me not being allowed to intervene, ...). I've tried to change supervisor, which seemed to work out but then, to budget problems, I was forced to change back to her, after thinking for like a week that I might get fired.

There aren't a lot of people that I spontaneously called or texted to talk to about this. There was one friend, who I considered to be a good friend, that I texted. After one reply, I didn't hear from her for more than a month. Losing my job and/or having to go back to my old supervisor would be/is quite devastating to me. It really hurts me that after telling someone this, they don't even check up on me during the following weeks.

It's just one example, but alot of my friends make me feel this way. I hardly ever get any calls or text just to ask me how I'm doing. And if I wouldn't take the initiative to meet up with my friends, I would hardly ever see anyone. I do also try not to complain too much when I meet up with them. I do let them know how I feel, but the rest of our time I try to be fun, smiling, focus on them,...

Does anyone recognise this?
How do you cope with this?

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 28 votes (22 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 4 )
  • clevelandashkenaziatheist
    9 years ago

    As people get older, in my experience, friends become fewer and hearing from them becomes more rare. Being a PhD student is a great opportunity to lose yourself in your work, and eventually move on from this program. Additionally, administrative remedies should be used to reprimand the offending professor.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • palepunk
    9 years ago

    Unfortunately, it's normal to go through these crappy periods of life. Why don't you go for morning walks, get a puppy, treat yourself to a nice spa day or write up a cool new resume so you can start applying for new jobs where you can make new friends? Go to church, read a good book, go to the pool.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • anonymous88
      9 years ago

      I do try some of those things. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. It's not really that I don't do enough fun things. It's more that I feel so uninmportant to everyone.

      Concerning the new job, I'm a PhD student, so I'm doing research on quite a specific topic. It would be hard to find something related and I really love my topic. In addition, thanks to how difficult it has been with my supervisor, I have no output at this moment. In research it really is publish or perish, so I'm concerned that if I leave I might not find another job in research. Apart from my supervisor, I also love everything about my job.

      The colleagues are great, but they also have busy social lives so I don't really hear from them outside work.

      But I guess you might have a point. I can't change my friends. Apart from trying to meet new friends and keep myself active when there's no one available, there's not much I can do.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • daydreamer394
    9 years ago

    Totally normal. When others don't care about me, I just make sure that I care about myself, in all honesty. I like being alone, so that helps, and I realise the benefits of solitude. There's less hassle, so treat yourself, because you don't need anyone else.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0