Is it normal to feel this way when talkign to someone wearing a niqab/burqa?

77% Normal
24 Comments

I volunteer in a dental surgery and we had a patient in this afternoon who happened to be wearing a niqab with a very narrow slit. I find eye contact difficult at the best of times (painful, even), but I found it even more difficult than normal with this person.

I like to be able to focus on something near or on the person's face other than their eyes when talking to them but only had the options of focusing right on their eyes or on their hands

Now, I'm aware this question sounds racist, and it probably is (objectively speaking).

I've walked past women in niqabs - some with gloves on as well before and not paid any more attention to them than I would your average person.

I don't know whether that sways things one way or the other, but I'm on the autistic spectrum.
We were also struggling to find their record card for a long while and their English was poor.

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 52 votes (40 yes)
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Comments ( 24 )
  • BLAh81
    11 years ago | pl

    "Now, I'm aware this question sounds racist"

    It isn't racist AT ALL. There are Muslims of ALL races. Islam itself is NOT a race, it's a hateful religion which wants to subject all non-Muslims (the very word "Islam" means submission and NOT peace as some say). I know most Muslims are good people (I know many), but does that make the belief system ITSELF automatically OK? Absolutely not. Good folks can be enticed by evil things too.

    BTW, you are PERFECTLY normal. Don't worry about it.

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    • VioletTrees
      11 years ago

      I agree that the OP isn't racist, but I see how this might sound racist. There are Muslims of all races, but Islamophobia is still very much tied in with racism.

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      • BLAh81
        11 years ago

        Yes, it is tied in with racism. Still, there is a huge difference. A person cannot choose their race, but a person CAN choose to be a Muslim or not. Personally, I despise racism, but I fully embrace hatred of Islam (NOT necessarily Muslims themselves though). Islam is actually a bit akin to Nazism: they are both supremacist and antisemitic.

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        • Valetion
          11 years ago

          They both think that they're an elitest group who is better then everyone else. I'm not a racist either, but I completely agree with the OP and this string of comments.

          100% normal.

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          • BLAh81
            11 years ago

            Agreed.

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  • Mando
    11 years ago

    Just because you felt unsettled by a women in a burqa doesn't mean you are racist. I too feel put-off by the "peek-a-boo I see you but you can't see me" get-ups and "I'm modest and pure" theatre. But western society tolerates religion and religious outfits. In north america many groups escaped persecution by coming here. Being tolerant means you accept their decisions if within the law - it doesn't mean you like or fancy their way of life.

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  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    not being able to see someone's face and feeling awkward about it is perfectly normal.

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  • NotStrangeBird
    11 years ago

    I ask her if she's a ninja.

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    • BLAh81
      11 years ago

      Haha

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  • ihatenigga's
    11 years ago

    I wear a hijab and I'm white but I'm a muslim I find it a little offensive as I really hate when people stare at my eyes and u can't be rude and say ninja and stuff u should never stare at they're breasts either its a religious thing not a show for you all to laugh at

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    • boston12
      11 years ago

      where should people look then? if not at ur eyes? considering that is the only part uncovered.

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      • BlueAlice
        11 years ago

        Hijabs show the whole face. Niquabs only show the eyes.

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  • mysterymen3000
    11 years ago

    Stare at her chest?

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  • boston12
    11 years ago

    so its ok to come into a different country and bring ur religion/beliefs with u and practice them. try going to middle eastern country wearing ur favourite jeans and t shirt and ul b raped and stoned to death before u can say birka.

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  • dude_Jones
    11 years ago

    Offer her a pair of sun glasses to wear. Problem solved.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    if its hot i snigger to myself , warm enough for you?

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  • disthing
    11 years ago

    It's perfectly normal.

    If you live in a culture where a niqāb or burqa is rare, then being confronted with somebody wearing one is bound to unsettle you somewhat. Much of the visual cues with which we communicate are non-verbal, but also our eyes only tell half of any expression. It makes it that much more difficult to discern how the person is feeling. On top of that it is instantly a barrier for many people; they are essentially withholding much of their identity, which to many people is a display of distrust. It can be a difficult obstacle to overcome.

    If you are somebody with mild Autism or AS that struggles with eye contact, I can see how a niqāb or burqa could be a nightmare. Don't feel bad about this, it's not based on prejudice or hatred.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I live in south-west London (which is very ethnically and culturally diverse).

      Thank you for this comment, and to everyone else. It's good to know that it's OK to feel like this and I know that it'll get marginally easier to deal with the situation next time.

      I've spoken to other Islamic people before, but they've only been in hijab at the most (I think that's the name for the scarves that cover up the hair and ears but not the rest of the face).

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  • OtherSide
    9 years ago

    Only terrorists hide their faces.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    11 years ago

    When I see a hijabi girl I stare straight in her eyes. Interestingly they tend to return one of the best eye-contact lol.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Interesting....

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    It's literally not racist in the slightest -- not that it should matter. Freedom of thought, freedom of speech.

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  • dom180
    11 years ago

    I think it's normal, and not racist. In a Western culture, we use eye contact as a very important part of our non-verbal communication, and when we can't do that with someone because of the way they look or what they're wearing it's normal to find talking difficult.

    If you're on the autistic spectrum and she didn't have the same grasp of English as a native speaker then that would make communication a little difficult anyway, I think. Her naqib just made communication more difficult on top of that. I'd probably have the same reaction, and I'm sure I'm not racist.

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  • redneckgirl1507
    11 years ago

    I don't look at people's eyes.

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