Is it normal to feel this way about my boyfriend?

Well, I've been with a guy for two years now. The problem is that I love him and sometimes I'm afraid that it's a bit too much.

For instance, I can't sleep without smelling his shirts or looking at pictures of him before bed. When he's around I'm constantly holding his hand or keeping an eye out for him. Then when he's not around, it's almost like I'm homesick. Nowhere is comfortable but with him. I tell him everything and don't feel comfortable doing that with anyone else. I get jealous easily, all of the time. Then his smell is like a drug. When he kisses me, it feels like I'm melting away. I think about him a gazillion times a day, I keep his things on a shelf in my closet, like a shrine sort of. I've watched this dude poop before and I was like, omg marry me.

Then there are weirder thoughts, the desire to just hold him forever and indulge in nothing but him. Sometimes I wish I could literally melt into him so that we become one. I almost want to eat him so that we could be together forever, to grind against him until our marrows mix and we're finally inseperable. I'm attracted to him and only him. And I know, that's hella weird, but I told him and strangely enough he feels the same and does most of the same things (if not more). I thought it was just a new relationship feeling but it's been two years and nothing has changed. Is this normal?

Voting Results
47% Normal
Based on 55 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 26 )
  • TrustMeImLying

    "and strangely enough he feels the same and does most of the same things (if not more)"

    Bingo. Key sentence right there. Being obsessive, clingy, aloof etc is all relative. When the other person is on the same level as you, regardless of how bizarre/intense it may seem to the rest of the world, it cancels out between you two and makes sense. And that's all that matters. Enjoy yourself

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    • That actually gave me a new perspective on things. Thank you!

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  • Ellenna

    Mutual obsession isn't healthy and to last that long is very unusual: usually that type of intensity burns itself out much faster than that.

    I guess if you're lucky it'll last a lifetime but it's much more likely one of you will get bored with it and then what will happen to the other person?

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    • Makes sense. Is there a way to save it, though? Stop the apparent inevitable? Even beyond the obsession, he's my best friend and I'd actually love to spend a life with him.

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      • windit

        I was like this with 2 partners, the story same.
        the first one(we were together more than a year and together all the time only work kept up apart) we broke up after a row (which happene because of the obsession )a few days later my partner wass tryingdddt o get me back. In the few days we were apart I realised I didn't need the relationship and was better aloneor playing the field or whatever.I was 19/20 at the time
        The second time I was around 25 lasted a year + half, very intense in every way We were obsessed with each other. We broke up cause my partner had to go live in a different country. We stayed in touch clot , we didn't tell anyone we wd broken up. After about 6months of this I started seeing other people.We never said we would xwait for each other. Then we stop contact.
        That ended a long time ago , I still think of that person and hope they are very happy. I think I really was in love. I never felt like that again can't another person and I'm sort of glad of that. I have been married since.
        I can't give you advice but I guess I'm saying you are not alone and its quite normal.
        Try not to argue about something which has come up just because not are obsessed. Like your partner talking to someone of the other sex for example, or being a bit late or putting the importance of anyone / anything else(family / work/ friends/ sport for example)anywhere near the level of the importance of you
        Have a good life, he possible try to have some interests of your own.I don't mean taking up yoga or a martial art and then both going to the classes together. Yep we did that :)
        Good luck, hope you both get what you want.
        But remember if it ends it is not the end of the world AND maybe it is just the start ;)

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        • Thank you for the story! Thank you for everything! You're so cool. That actually helped me a lot, and gave me hella insight on what to avoid as well as do in the future. Just, thank you for taking the time to respond in such a way. You're a good person.

          We have been working on the clinginess. In all honesty, I haven't seen him in a few months. He's off in boot camp so our only communication is through letters or the rare phone call. Right now I'm just working hard so that he can be proud when he gets back. So far, it's going grand! I have an internship and a full ride in school. I also started kickboxing. I want to protect him, so why not? I'm waiting until he returns to tell him, can't wait.

          With the jealousy thing, we both have resorted to simply talking about it bluntly instead of letting things fester. Usually we're so much into eachother that it doesn't end up a big deal anyway.

          I'm just afraid that maybe, as arisen before, it gets to a point where he tires of me or vice versa. I love him. I want it to last. If it's abnormal and unhealthy, then I want to fight to make it better. I owe us that.

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          • windit

            Thankyou for your reply.How are things working out now?

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            • cinderfloof

              Pretty well! We're still together and just celebrated our three year anniversary a month ago and he's coming to visit in another two. I can't wait! Thank you for asking.

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  • Fall_leaves

    You give me the urge to file a restraining order, dear stranger.

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    • Don't worry. If things weren't mutual I probably never would have gotten this clingy

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      • Fall_leaves

        I can't judge since I was this way, not to the extent of wanting to eat them or melt into them but I definitely know what it feels like to love someone unconditionally.

        I hope it works out but if it doesn't remember to love yourself.

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        • Ehhh. A less creepy way of thinking about it would be like the fusions in Steven Universe. I wouldn't actually want to eat him, because then I wouldn't really be with him anymore, but it's a close example of that intense desire of closeness. Does that make sense?

          Alright. Thank you, lovely!

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  • RoseIsabella

    That's actually all pretty scary.

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    • Im sorry. I promise, I wouldn't actually DO any of this. I would never hurt him or do anything he didn't want me to. I just think it sometimes.

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  • ChelseaGonzales

    You have obsessive love disorder we all go through this, well most of us will go through this at least once in our lifetimes.

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    • Understandable. Will it just go away? I don't want to jeopardize the relationship. He really is an awesome guy. Losing that just because I care too much would be horrible.

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  • ChelseaGonzales

    Crazy creep

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  • IDEEPRIMFEMALEASSHOLES

    It sounds like that you are a control freak on a power trip.

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    • I wouldn't say I'm controlling. If he didn't feel the same, I'd definitely back off.

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      • IDEEPRIMFEMALEASSHOLES

        But you are on a power trip.

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        • "A sustained and often aggressive exercise of power over others in order to boost one's stature or feelings of self-worth"

          Aren't they synonyms? If I have no control, I have no power over him. Unless you mean emotional power? In which case, I'd never abuse it. I do actually care that he's happy and comfortable. I don't want to quickly dismiss what you're saying, though. The whole reason I posted this was to find out if my affections are healthy and fix it if they aren't. How can I fix that, basically?

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          • windit

            alot of replies will be tm create a reaction , read each one and decide which is genuine, dismiss the rest.
            I remember being like you, taking the rantings of an idiot on-board would have wrecked my head.
            Don't respond or take them seriously.

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  • Ryanjingle

    You're a super good poet

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    • Lol. Thank you! I'm actually a writer, and the compliment makes me really happy!

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  • you_go_glen_coco

    Try rolling around with him in a tub full of superglue

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    • Good idea! Lol.

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