Is it normal to feel this way.?

Well to kick this off lets start in the right place , the beginning, ..
Well wwhen me and my gf met I was 19 and she was 29, although it may seem strange but there was a huge connection right away givin that fact that she is so fuckin beautiful wit a big ol' booty, anyways we fell n love ..so days went by, then , weeks, months and even years, 2 to be exact then she got prego...yep ,, but in between all that was a lot of fussing and fighting over what I can watch or hear on the radio or why are you talking to that bitch, or whos that?..yes I did mess up quit a bit and yes I did have numbers she found that she made me call back and pretty much tell them to fu k off..so yes this was a back and forth relationship, although I do admit it was because I was you g and still wanted to be with other girls but I still had this deep emotion for her...so I would. Come back...I felt like I couldnt be apart from her and yet everytime we'd argue I'd end up leaving again. .I felt as if that was the answer for everything, so time went by again now by this time we're in this relationship for about 3 yrs and some odd monthes , here we are broken up once again, im comeing from work to bring her so.e money for my son and I find that her door is locked, so Im like wtf open the door she said no (automatic rage) I said it again open the fucking door she opened it, first thing I did was say was , who the fuck is here?., I start to scan the rooms then bam! The restroom door is locked I said open the fuckin dooor! I didnt wait for a response, I kicked the door open found some fuckig guy in there , first thi g out his mouth was ., im sorry im running from the cops, then I kicked him in his sto.ach into the tu. And fucked him up and took my son and let them be...I was hurt no lie..I love this women ,,, I fou d another girl later on..then took my gf to. Court for custody of my son, I swear if it wasnt for me havei g compassion I would have had full custody of him...anyways moveing forword 6 months was how long that lasted I was with my gf at he time and her with her bf,...all of a sudden I get a call from her saying shes prego with this ass feces bby...I broke down,...why? Idk...I still loved her but I was suppressing that with this new girl..and honestly I wanted to work things out with her, ...I never felt so hurt, so confused,..more monthes pass and shes do e with him for good and wants to work things out with me...so I said okay I will love this child as my owne, she didnt tell me she had to move out though, so when I found out I was like wtf,, so I help her out , we end up staying with my mom, uncle, brother and even our car for six mo thes and even duri g this time arguing over petty stuff,, also that is why we ended up getting kicked out of my moms, ros, and uncles house..so then after my bros house we decided to go to my dads house , who I havent spoken to in years...so while I was walking down the street I get pulled over for a warrant that I had took me in, did a few monthes came out went to my dads house got her and my son came back to la and found a place,, she had the baby and it was another boy,..I can honestly say I didnt feel the same but over time feelings grew.........we are now 6 yrs in this relationship and we and over the course of time I have left over and over again, because I could'nt take all the arguments over petty shit...and now that we been separated this last time which we agree is the last time..all I want to do is work it out..am I crazy, I mean I do love this women , my heart hurts whenever I think of her, my eyes begin to water, I get a lump In my throat when I talk about her, but she made it clear that thats it she cant take it no more and neither can I, so whats going on here its been 5months now that we been separated. .why do I feel this way?..when will it get better? .I love her and she loves me but we just cant be together, we're both Pisces, does that say anything? What do u think?