Is it normal to feel the need to totally change myself in a relationship?

27% Normal
5 Comments

i feel as if i have nothing to bring to any of my relationships unless i change and adapt and compromise everything about who and what i am. i feel as if my girlfriends/boyfriends in the past were fine and that they did not need to change anything about themselves. i think it is right for me to change who and what i am and give up all of my needs, desires and wants for the person i love. is it normal to feel this way?

Voting Results
27% Normal
Based on 26 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    My best friend does that, to the point where she takes on all of the values and interests, even food preferences, of whomever she's in a relationship with.
    As her friend, it sucks seeing her change like that because I wish she could be the person she is when she's not in a relationship---that person is awesome!

    Your description of how you feel seems a bit codependent and it is something that can be improved upon with therapy.

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  • hitchman
    10 years ago

    Ya i did a reverse micheal Jacksson 4 a raealationship once

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  • noid
    10 years ago

    NO. Not a good idea.

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  • Fall_leaves
    10 years ago

    I don't think you should change yourself in the way you think. It should be positive changes, like getting better grades, volunteering more often, being nicer to people, making an effort to do better with your life, and valuing yourself.

    If you change at all in a relationship, it should be because the person you're with makes you want to be a better person. If you start loving yourself the way they love you, I think that's a healthy change.

    I think you have more to offer than you give yourself credit for.

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  • HeyItsRalph
    10 years ago

    It's normal to think that you should change yourself to make the other person happy, but you shouldn't actually do so. Unless you have some really disturbing or annoying habit.

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