Is it normal to feel terrible after discovering fiance's porn of large boobs?
My fiance forgot to delete his internet history after viewing some porn. I noticed he paid particular interest in some obscure model (he googled her name) that looks almost EXACTLY like me...except she has E cups (I'm a 34A/B). The title of the porno was "E-cup babe sex tape."
We've been together for 6 years... I'm 33 years old now. I'm WAY TOO OLD to be insecure about this stuff. When I was in my teens & very early 20s I was *obsessive & insecure* over my small boobs, I used to be a 32AA back then. But after many years of reading online of how some guys prefer small boobs, and then hooking up with some guys that basically worshiped my small boobs, I didn't mind my small boobs that much anymore. They're a part of my overall package. Big boobs are awesome, too, but I felt pretty alright with my small boobs by my mid-20s.
I mentioned I hooked up with guys in the past that liked my boobs, they would touch them and compliment them while I was naked. But those other guys were just hookups. Later when I met my fiance, we fell in love, entered a relationship and put in effort to add meaning to our interactions.
I noticed my fiance never touched my breasts during sex ... if he accidentally brushed them, he'd move his hand away fast. He complimented my legs/butt/face, but never boobs. I had a strong case of Denial... I stuffed away my childhood insecurity and chalked his behavior up to sexual awkwardness.
After a few years I finally mentioned his lack of interest in my boobs ... he blew it off. I asked if he preferred bigger boobs over mine. He said no. This year (after 6 years) he's finally touching/licking my breasts and telling me he likes them, probably because he sensed my insecurity.
Anyway, I was hurt he googled my twin, except she has GIANT boobs. He paid *particular* interest in her. He also did quick searches for other girls who could be my twin except they had larger racks too.
I should be "flattered" he searched for girls who resembled me, but it reinforces that they resembled me EXCEPT they had giant breasts. "E-cups" were in the porn video title!!!! It wasn't even a video of people f*cking, it was a video of my e-cup twin ALONE RUBBING HER BIG BREASTS FOR TWO MINUTES. I know he watched the entire video based on the viewing history.
tl;dr
My fiance looked at porn of a woman who could be my twin except she's FIVE boob-cup sizes larger and the ENTIRE video focused on her solo massaging her giant boobs for 2 minutes. Does this mean his fantasy is of me but with giant boobs and he doesn't like my breasts? What should I do?
Please don't reply about how *you personally* prefer small breasted women. I know men like you exist, I've been with them, and it was beneficial to my self esteem.