Is it normal to feel so dilusional after a breakup?

I'm going through such a tough breakup. He was my first love so this hurts. It's something I'm not used to, I don't get hurt often, so this pain is just too much to handle. I think part of the reason why I can't seem to let go is cause I'm simply in denial like this can't be happening, this pain isn't real. Although we "broke up," we're still in contact and kind of got back together but it was awkward, it just felt like things weren't back to normal. This was only about a week and a half together but it seems like we're still breaking up. If I can have it my way, I would be with him. But realistically, most of the time I'm just completely heartbroken and depressed then other times I'm just like fine without him...until he pops up. I almost feel like I'm living this made up world and when he comes in, reality hits. So its almost like no matter how great I am doing without him, its not real because my truest happiness is him and everything else is a distraction.