Is it normal to feel so affected by someone so quickly?

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14 Comments

10 days ago a relative came to stay, bringing a friend I had never met. I found myself instantly attracted to the friend. She closely resembles my second love (when I was 24/25). Within 12 hours the attraction was overwhelming, and as I got to know her I found she had the same personality as my first love (when I was 16/17). Within only a few days my appetite went, I felt nauseous, couldn't concentrate on anything because I couldn't get her out my head, and even when I sleep (fitfully) I'm having the most vivid dreams about her. I have never wanted anyone so intensely, and I mean that in more than just a sexual sense - it's a very urgent desire that has made everything else in my life seem trivial (my achievements, my money, etc.). Wtf fuck is happening to me? And how could it happen so quickly?

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Based on 10 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • Tealights
    6 years ago

    "wtf fuck." lol

    Talk to her.

    It probably happened so quickly because she resembles previous people you've once had strong feelings for. However, be careful. You're really infatuated, and comparing her to old exes you're probably not 100% over; though she resembles these people, she is still her own person with her own quirkiness you probably have yet to discover and accept. Get to know her more.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Thanks for the advice. Much appreciated. I don't want to get to know her. She's like a drug that's too potent. I am over the exes, btw (I'm 40 now), so perhaps it's best to see it that she has whatever they had to trigger infatuation in me, rather than as a comparison.

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      • Tealights
        6 years ago

        No problem. Sadly, I must poke at you for a bit, because you're not making sense.

        "I am over the exes" =/= "she has whatever they had to trigger infatuation in me" <--- also, this is a good example of comparing lol.

        Lastly, age is an indicator of nothing but the years we spent on this planet; also, you're not old, grandpa status is at 60+, youngster lol.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          I meant over as in don't feel a need to be with them, no longer have the feelings for them that I now have for this girl.

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          • JonathanOo
            6 years ago

            Haha. Well if you should let her know about it or hint at how much you're into her or would like to spend time together. Your post was confusing but I understand your point because i feel the same about someone too. Problem is if you let them get away you'll be left even more lost and hopeless...

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              6 years ago

              Thanks for your comment. Trouble is I'm in a relationship and this girl is young and too much of a wild child. Which was fine when I was 16/17, but hardly relationship material at 40! It is, however, what I am most attracted to, and that's what's getting to me the most. Probably a bit like when women are into tough guys, and then end up being mistreated, but if they go for someone a bit more polished the attraction just isn't the same.

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  • nikkiclaire
    6 years ago

    This recently happened to me and she felt the same way. She broke up because it was too intense and while it sucks she was right.

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  • EccentricWeird
    6 years ago

    I'm gonna be single forever

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  • xfg-50
    6 years ago

    Capture her and seal her in a barrel so she doesn't get away. You can dump it in a river and salvage it ten years later when they stop looking for her.

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  • BlackCatsAreAwesome
    6 years ago

    Attraction is instantaneous.

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  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    Love at first sight, it may sound trite, but it's true, you know?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I never believed in that, and probably still don't. I think if things evolved into love I would imagine it would be easy to retrospectively interpret it as love from the very beginning. I think (hope) that by avoiding her forever it won't be too late for it to all abate.

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      • [Old Memory]
        6 years ago

        Follow your heart. BTW it was a quote from a song.

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