Is it normal to feel sad after being rejected for not wanting a relationship?

77% Normal
8 Comments

It's scientifically proven that making out, touching each other and overall having a good time with members of the opposite gender (or the same if you're gay) triggers chemicals that make you grow more or less fond of that person. This reaction tends to be even stronger when you have sex. So, when I'm seeing girls, we tend to do the softer stuff (I don't have a place at my disposal which I could use for full-on fornication), and I do get more or less attached to the girls over time.

But the problem is, I don't get attached enough to even consider meeting the girl exclusively. And that's something most girls won't take, sadly. Several pretty enjoyable relationships were discontinued due to that, and that makes me sad and slightly disappointed. Why do girls always want relationships? Why can't they just have fun without minding what I do when I'm not seeing them? :<

Do I have commitment phobia or do I just value having open options so much? Is it normal?

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 30 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • dom180
    10 years ago

    It's perfectly normal to want a relationship with someone you are sexually active with. You said yourself that it's normal to become progressively more emotionally attached to someone over time, because of human biology.

    I don't think it's anyone's fault if two people want different things, but you've got to take it on the chin and move on instead of blaming her and refusing to accept any blame yourself. If all you do is blame the other person for wanting something different to you, that comes across as very self-centred. You're using the other person as a means to an end (the "end" being mild sexual activity) without caring about their emotions aside from how they impact on you. Friends with benefits is most likely to be a positive experience when you both care about each other's feelings. Mutually objectifying someone sexually is fun, but you've got to care about each other out of bed as well or this will always happen.

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  • Aliceee93
    10 years ago

    Men will never understand girls and their feelings.

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  • Riddler
    10 years ago

    Wow, you're a fucking dick. Nothing is wrong with the women you are with. You are leading people on and than leaving. IF you want a relationship say "Im a whore and I just want sex with you" so at least they know your a disloyal cunt. Your a disgusting person.

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    • Xfing
      9 years ago

      I do make it perfectly clear that I'm not a particularly relationship-oriented person, as I'm borderline aromantic. Never led anyone on - in fact it's me who's been led on to believe that a casual relationship's fine, only to hear after several months that it in fact isn't. From girls whose "legit" relationships tend to last shorter than us seeing each other loosely. Who's the weird one then, huh?

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  • Mister_Nobody
    10 years ago

    Perhaps you should make your shallow intentions clear before getting a girl into bed. That way nobody ends up feeling used.

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  • Fall_leaves
    10 years ago

    I doubt it's a commitment phobia, have you ever been in a relationship? I think it's normal to enjoy these kinds of relationships as long as it isn't affecting you or others negatively

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    I guess that's what the "friends with benefits" thing is all about.

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  • bananapie
    10 years ago

    I've had more problems with guys wanting a relationship with me, while I prefer just "having fun". (I'm female)

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