Is it normal to feel regret of being desperate for a relationship?

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16 Comments

I have regrets in life, one of them is being desperate I feel down about myself for doing this, sometimes I punch the glass out of shame and disappointment of myself. I often wish I can change the past of not being desperate but I later learnt and realised that desperation for a relationship isn't gonna work and neither is it the way. I still feel regretful about doing this my flashbacks make me want to have more regrets. It feels like I'm no longer ready for one since I know I know that relationships are meant to be for those who can keep it realistically and not being fake about it.

Is my regret normal?

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Based on 9 votes
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Comments ( 16 )
  • GaelicPotato
    3 years ago

    We all have regrets. I regret making myself a widower, but it is what it is.

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    • DoctorD
      3 years ago

      How did you go about it?

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    • RoseIsabella
      3 years ago

      How exactly does one make one's self a widower?

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      • DoctorD
        3 years ago

        Murder.

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        • RoseIsabella
          3 years ago

          Indeed!

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  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    I support, and appreciate your opinions that you have shared here. I can honestly relate to what you're saying. I think it's imperative for you to grieve the loss of your past, and concentrate on making the best of your present, and future. You can't change the past, but you can learn to live in a healthier way now.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    3 years ago

    'dont be desperate and be confident'

    'just be yourself'

    well which the fuck is it?

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    • RoseIsabella
      3 years ago

      Both. People need to detach from the notion that they need to be in a romantic relationship in order to be happy, or complete themselves. We are all complete beings just as we are, there is nothing wrong with being single, and or alone.

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      • DeletThis
        3 years ago

        “Just be yourself” maybe it means literally only focus on existing, kinda like the goal of meditation.

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        • RoseIsabella
          3 years ago

          I dunno, but that doesn't sound bad.

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      • YE
        3 years ago

        Tell that to people in Africa!

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        • RoseIsabella
          3 years ago

          That's their collectivist culture doing that, but it doesn't make them any less complete when they're single. The culture has taught them those things, but I still don't believe that a person always needs a so called partner to be complete. I'd certainly rather be alone than be with the wrong person.

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  • YE
    3 years ago

    From my experience, having a skill/talent, or better yet, a hobby which you use (or can use) to make ends meet makes each new day worth waking up to.. no matter how bad your hangover from the night before is.

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  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    I read all that and my only thought was “what glass?”

    Deep huh.

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  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    Next time you wanna punch glass, imagine how you won't be able to go back before damaging your hand

    Your regret is normal, too. It's a sign you're a fundamentally good person. Just remember this regret when you notice the symptoms of desperation; elevated heart rate, highly focused eyes, lack of forbearance, it also helps not to form presuppositions like they like you or you would be good friends or whatever. Even if two people are compatible, being pushy in the beginning can be a turn off. You really wanna cultivate some things sometimes.

    Another thing to do, if you really believe you're unable to be friends with anyone, then learn to be okay with yourself alone. If you truly believe that, then for one it would be mentally healthy to accept it and move on, and for two it'll get you past this grieving state. This would give you time to learn how to love yourself. And if you realize you don't believe it, then you'll still get that confidence boost by proving to yourself why you don't believe it.

    So, learn to love yourself and you'll learn how to approach others better

    I'm sure there's more, ask me anything

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    • Somenormie
      3 years ago

      I'll be happy to ask you anything when I need to HiddenLeafShinobi, I will remember your comment, though I came to also realise that punching the glass isn't going to solve anything I'm just inflicting more problems to myself. I feel like I'm going hard on myself too much.

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