Is it normal to feel not so guilty about this?

59% Normal
13 Comments

Background! I had a "BFF". I am male. She is female. Never took things to the next level even though looking back I think I wanted to. Something that I did know though, is that I was (and realised that I still am), quite horny for her. Like I want to fuck her so bad. (i feel much shame for typing sth like this, haha).
Anyways, had my fun with her. She would tell me about men she was with, while inside I sort of hoped that we would be something, but we never did.
Sidenote: I used to fap to this girl's pictures. Sad, I know.
After a few months though, met another girl (this was after a massive influx of simultaneous crushes), and we started dating. Grew distant from my "BFF", and we rarely talked. I deleted those pictures of her, because I'd feel a bit guilty. Fast-forward a year. She starts texting me. We talk a bit. Sends these pictures of hers that she took while attending a sort of conference. And my God are my loins stirring. I love my girlfriend, or at the very least I believe I do, but seeing that ass. I'm tempted to break my no fap vow of 2weeks that I was planning to do just to imagine myself tapping that.
Yes, i'm a horny 19yr old
Yes, please leave your advice
No, I'm not sending her pictures
So is it normal that I'd do this? Is it cheating?

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 22 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • NeilYounger
    7 years ago

    Dude at 19 you don't know what the fuck you want in regards to a long term relationship with a female. Sometimes the short term right choice turns out to be a long term disaster. A total fucking nightmare. The answer here is that there is no answer. A guy has to go with his heart. And only you can make that decision. At 19 you are old enough to make that decision. Just don't destroy yourself if it doesn't work out the way you plan it to. Because the right one may not have even appeared in your life yet. There is a purpose in a broken heart you know. Ah, but you are too young to know what that purpose is. But you will some day. Yes, some day you will.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      I know I do want it to go perfectly. I am an idealist when it comes to relationships. But to be honest I don't really have any problem with her. I don't want to end things because of slight reasons that we could work out together. I believe she's worth it.
      Anyways
      I'll try to think on it. Going with my heart as you've put it.

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  • Azaman
    7 years ago

    Masturbation is never cheating.

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  • Tempest-au
    7 years ago

    A friend of mine had a wonderful saying - "It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, so long as you eat at home".

    It's normal to be aroused by attractive people of the opposite sex (or same sex if you're that way inclined), and if you stroke one off to the image/thoughts of another person you'd probably be in the majority! Just don't screw around on your current girlfriend, and all will be well.

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  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    You're settling, stop it.

    You obviously loved your best friend for a long time, but never got the chance to make your move. Why are you forcing yourself to settle for a girl you don't love as much as your friend? End the relationship with this girl, and confess to your friend, then see what happens or stay single until you're over her.

    You got to try, otherwise you're going to be plague with the 'what if we dated' thoughts, and you're always going to feel you've missed out on something that could have been real and special.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    7 years ago

    Goddamn. I just fapped. Felt so disgusted.
    .....
    Might do it again though....
    I am a sick and vile human being.
    I should be killed

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    • IMissMary
      7 years ago

      No worries you are normal.

      Don't let society strap you with guilt and shame for being a man.

      #1 rule for men, never apologize for being a man. Means yes you can feel lust for and look at women with lust...so what, its your right.

      Sometimes at work women catch me looking at some womens ass. I'm like okay, yeah I looked...I'm not going to apologize for being a man. No I am not sorry, no I will not feel guilt or shame, yes I enjoyed it and yes I will and can look, feel lust for, and imagine myself screwing any woman I please. So what.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        7 years ago

        Haha
        Goes against my ideals though
        For me, I look, but I try not to take it any further than that
        If I go any further I start taking ladies as pieces of meat with whom i can do as I please
        But that's just my opinion
        About this though...
        I think I need closure, so I might meet up with her

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        • IMissMary
          7 years ago

          I didn't say going any further than looking.

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  • mysistersshadow
    7 years ago

    Sounds normal to me.

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  • Corncakes
    7 years ago

    This is why I choose to be a introvert, people scare me, relationship, marriage etc is all extremely stupid concepts to me and often times I see myself becoming innately condescending to society because of this.

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    • Thatuglyfatboy
      7 years ago

      You sound more of an asexual than an introvert.

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  • mikhaildb
    7 years ago

    It's fine, it's "emotionally cheating" but if you're okay with that made up concept, then you're good.

    Your girlfriend won't know what you're doing/thinking, so it comes down to this - are YOU okay with what you're doing?

    I personally think it feels too gross, so I just don't "emotionally cheat" on my partner.

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