Is it normal to feel more confident when out with my better looking friends?

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12 Comments

The only time I ever want to take any kind of social risk or act confidently is when I'm out with very good-looking friends. I feel like because I'm with them, people see me as better looking and more cool. It feels good to be a part of the group that gets everyone's attention, even if I'm not the one in the group who's the centre of attention. Of course it would be awesome to walk into a club or something alone and have every eye on me, but this feels like the next best thing. IIN?

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 21 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • regisphilbin
    8 years ago

    In club speak this guy you refer to is called a wingman - a friend who will chat up a hot chick's less attractive friends, thereby allowing you to build up your confidence enough to make the moves on the hottie.

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  • Aries
    8 years ago

    I suppose it's better than booze , no hangover with a confidence booster like that and you are more likely to form better conversation starters . I think it's more the opposite but I can see how it might work .

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  • VinnyB
    8 years ago

    I thought the opposite was was true. I thought people take less attractive people with them to look better in comparison.

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    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      That's what women do. What men do is slightly different, basically bring a more "confident" or at least a more outgoing guy along who just doesn't give a shit and will talk to any girl.

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      • VinnyB
        8 years ago

        So it is more about attitude than looks? If that's the case, wouldn't it be best to bring an outgoing but unattractive guy? That way he can set them up so you can knock them down? Not trying to be an ass, I just honestly don't understand all the rules of the games opposite sex couples seem to play.

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        • [Old Memory]
          8 years ago

          Well the point of bringing the outgoing guy is as an ice breaker. I'm actually not ugly at all, but not outgoing, so I get labeled as an "asshole" or "too quiet". Well not overly outgoing anyway, so it can throw women off.

          Good looking men will sometimes get laid based on looks as long as they can converse somewhat. An ugly yet otherwise confident man (big dick, money, who knows) will also sometimes get laid, perhaps even do better than the aforementioned "handsome" man. Provided he is the "right" amount of outgoing.

          A beautiful woman, literally no matter how she behaves, will never lack for male attention or sex. It's just how it is. Women, all heterosexual women also, will also immediately subconsciously judge the man based on how other men treat any other given male.

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          • VinnyB
            8 years ago

            So then to answer my question, it would be advantageous to be more attractive than Mr. confident ice breaker guy. Because it makes it easier to get her away from him once he gets her attention toward your group, yes? Or is this a partnership? Does he know that he is being used as bait and is willfully helping your cause?

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            • [Old Memory]
              8 years ago

              Hmm that's actually difficult to succinctly answer. From my experience I would say the ideal is medium looks compared with a real outgoing personality (and an ability to bullshit, most women eat that up). And looks can be changed, better clothes, fitness routine, etc. Personality not so much, you can try mimicking what you see works for other guys but that's risky because you aren't really being yourself and most women can pick that out.

              I have a story from college where a buddy was hitting on a girl and during the course of it nonchalantly pointed out my arm (I'm in pretty good shape, my profile pic isn't me lol) she was so mesmerized by him she reached out, touched my arm, and said "wow" to him! All without acknowledging me. I didn't care as I wasn't attracted to her and I would never snake a buddy, but that goes to show you how strange some heterosexual exchanges can be. True story.

              And to answer you, a guy wouldn't care about the "bait" aspect of it. Especially for younger people as it is usually a group interaction. The outgoing guy gets the "alpha" label and probably has his pick of the female group provided they were "out to get laid" to begin with.

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