Is it normal to feel like you're trying too hard to get people to hangout?

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5 Comments

So I've always been an odd ball out, but I'm in my mid 20's and have grown up a lot since high school/undergraduate years. I like being around people and having conversations. I seem to get a long well in my graduate classes with my cohort but whenever I try to plan a social event with everyone, no one wants to do it. This happened in undergraduate too (I was president of a small club, but no one would ever come to outings).

I'm starting to really doubt myself again. Why wont people just hang out? I feel like it would be a lot of fun. Also, there's like 30 people in my cohort so it would be weird if everyone single one had a legit reason for not wanting to get together.

:( sad face

Is this normal?

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70% Normal
Based on 23 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Anime8
    9 years ago

    It's a weird thing but the older you get the more life gets in the way of doing stuff you want. In high school you sort of start to see it, friends getting jobs and then it becomes difficult cause you have to actually plan stuff. "Wanna hang Saturday? I have to look at my schedule and see if I work that day, I'll let you know."

    There are a lot of reasons though why people wouldn't want to hang, but in general it could be cause they're busy. Just out of curiosity, do you try to get everyone to hang, like all 30 people or just a few? Cause I think like 4 people would be enough for a good time. In all honesty, I think starting off small is the way to go. If one person turns you down well you have 29 others to ask. If they all say no then so be it. Like I said, people are busy. It sucks, but hopefully they'll be down to hang some other time.

    Alternatively, you could ask a person when they're free and then find other people who are free that time or mix and match times to get people to agree on a date when everyone is free. Just because someone shuts you down, doesn't mean that they're always busy. But mind you, people do enjoy their alone time.

    Ultimately though, you tried and that's enough. Some people don't even bother calling others, they expect other people to put in the effort to be friends with them, but you try. Be proud that at least you try to be a good friend.

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    • miskris
      9 years ago

      Good point about being busy, I'm just entering the "social world" if you would, so I'm a little less busy than some in that compartment of life.

      I did try to invite all at once to an event. So I will try inviting one out to karaoke this week and see what happens.

      Thanks for the advice, I don't feel like such a weird creep now.

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      • Anime8
        9 years ago

        Trust me man, your not a radiohead song. I wish you all the luck mate.

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  • Faceless
    9 years ago

    Next time youre planning an event refrain from using the words "bondage orgy". Use "black and blue reception" instead.

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    • miskris
      9 years ago

      Good tip

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