Is it normal to feel jealous a fat girl got lucky when im skinny and hot?

74% Normal

So there's this girl at the club I go to that Ive had a crush on for a looooong time and Ive always felt she was "out of my league" but tonight while I was being all shy and flirty with her, this other girl who's really fat just straight up asks my crush if she can make out with her, and she says yes... (we're all girls)

I was like.. seriously? Im slim, fit, and hot, and this fat girl can just get some action just like that? I was jealous and then felt bad that I was thinking of the fat girl in a negative way, but I guess I felt more entitled. Should I just be that forward with crushes? Is it normal to get jealous and have mean thoughts like that?

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74% Normal

Based on 91 votes (67 yes)

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Comments ( 51 )

Frosties

12 years ago | pl

People do this all the time to justify themselves. People's true prejudices tend to come out when the deeper urges like love and sex are involved.

Someone I know got all bothered about a girl rejecting him in favour of someone else. What was bothering him most is that the guy she went with has a different colour of skin than him or the girl.

He's not overtly racist and he couldn't justify why he was feeling like he was. Regardless of someone's colour, or weight, or anything, really, they're still just a person.

Perhaps you're bothered because a core value of yours (that people who weigh more are less attractive) was challenged in the way it was.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  I think some of what you say makes a lot of sense but its wrong to think that "people who weigh more are less attractive" is a "core value" of mine... its just something I think sometimes, doesnt everyone have thoughts like this pass through their mind sometimes?
  
  I feel bad for thinking it and I admit Im jealous but it would be untruthful to pretend like I didnt think about it, even for a second.
  
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Avant-Garde

12 years ago

It's all about how a person presents themselves. Their attitude. I'm thin, but I am very shy. I've noticed that most people go with people that have strong personalities with a bit to do with body types. If you really love her and hate to see her go to someone else, then make the first move. If you don't voice your feelings there's the risk that you might lose her to someone else. Good Luck!

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VsegdaTemnata

12 years ago

God do I fucking hate when say "I'M HOT." Gain some modesty for Chrissake

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- lufa
  
  12 years ago
  
  god forbid we ever offend ugly people by admitting we're attractive.
  
  no let's all pretend we're "modest" and therefore part of the herd of average/unattractive people.
  
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  - VsegdaTemnata
    
    12 years ago
    
    It just so happens that narcissistic behavior is fucking hideous, despite how good-looking the person is. And let's not pretend but actually BE modest. Have you ever heard of Copernicus, Aristotle, or Einstein call themselves geniuses? "The fool thinks himself a genius, and the genius thinks himself a fool," goes the old saying.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      12 years ago
      
      There's a difference between hubris and acknowledging ones own strengths.
      
      Ferociously hating such behavior to such an intense extreme is rather curious. I wonder what it is that makes you react like that to what you personally perceive to be narcissistic behavior?
      
      Not everyone who points out that they're good looking or intelligent is truly displaying narcissism.
      
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      - VsegdaTemnata
        
        12 years ago
        
        What makes me react to it in that way is the fact that it's an unattractive quality to have.
        
        And there's a difference between "I think I'm attractive" and "I'M HOT!!" No, not everyone, but most people saying shit like the latter are, in fact, displaying narcissism.
        
        Being around a person who says shit like "Yeah, I'm hot" makes the listener averted to and skeptical of whatever else the person may say. I'm not the only one who thinks this. Evidently if I was wrong I wouldn't have gotten any thumbs, not would have the other people here who called you cocky.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        12 years ago
        
        You're basing the entirety of your judgment (and there are PLENTY of things to say about those who cast judgment on others, in terms of "attractive personality traits") on a few sentences written online on an anonymous question site.
        
        If you want a true definition of "cockiness" how about someone who is SO sure of themselves, they think they can completely identify, label, and accurately judge someone from a couple of sentences over the internet?
        
        I'm physically attractive, so what? I should lie and pretend to ride the high horse and say that in life people don't notice things like looks and weight? Yeah, pretending the grass isn't green won't change that either.
        
        I already admitted I'm not proud of having negative thoughts towards the large girl, but to pretend like those thoughts don't exist isn't cockiness, it's truthfulness. I only posted the question to find out if other people might have similar thoughts at times.
        
        And I don't believe that you JUST think it's unattractive. You react WAY too strongly to not have "personal" written all over your hatred.
        
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cookiesaregreat

12 years ago

I think you have great looks and a bad personality. Thats probably part of it.

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- Saycheese
  
  12 years ago
  
  Agree for sure.
  
  Looks shouldn't be everything. So what is that girl is fatter than you, she must be a good person.
  
  Maybe you think you are good looking but truely aren't to her. Just never know... everybody has their own personal preferences of attraction though.
  
  I myself normally don't go for the masculine men. Yes they are good looking but that's not what attracts me. What attracts me most of the time is when the guy is sweet and is happy around me. I can't help but want to be around him when he is happy and has a great smile too. :)
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  I wish I could discern the entirety of a persons personality from a few sentences online :/
  
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chatter289

12 years ago

her 'fatness' is overshodowed by her confidence. Women love confidence, regadlress of sexual orientation. If a fit guy had lack of confidence but a less atrractive guy had plenty and was a little cocky, oh yeah i would choose the cocky guy. Women want security and condifence not a person who shy's away! Keep that in mind

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iEatZombies_

12 years ago

No, you shouldn't try shoving your tongue down your crushes throat. What you should do is practice respect for yourself and others. Don't mistake cockiness for self-respect.

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[Old Memory]

12 years ago

There's a fine line between confidence and sounding like a stuck up bitch thinking she's the shit.

Because if that's how you see the world, as hot and not hot, I wouldn't want to date you. And for all those calling the crush a skank or a ho, why?

It doesn't sound unusual to have a kiss or make out in a club, does it? Lots of judgement going on in this post and that does include me too.

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UngodlyPlatypus

12 years ago

First off, you kind of a bitch in thinking you're the "shit". Well a fat bitch took your bitch. And stop being so shy if you have a crush on someone.. What're you ten? Besides the fact that you are a jelly bro your better off not dealing with a skank like that if someone outta-nowhere started making out with her... hahaha.

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lufa

12 years ago

To to OP, been there done that. The girl you were crushing on was probably insecure or doesn't notice looks the way you and I might. It's hit and miss, some people are discerning about such things others are not.

Maybe she wanted some fat dyke man-looking thing and you're a sexy lipstick lesbian so you might not be her type. I went to a lesbian club once with close friends and it was like being a kid in a candy store, so many beautiful girls.

However I saw some of the prettiest ones getting their faces sucked on by some fat bitches who looked like-and I am being very accurate and serious-nasty trucker drivers. I was dumbfounded. So many strange things going on in the world.

And for straight girls-I've seen many that I'd probably be too intimidated to approach, yet they were dating some of the ugliest men around-guys who looked like greasy computer nerds, others who looked like just got out of jail (of every race).

I don't know why some beautiful girls are impossible to get while others will date Quasimodo, but that's how life goes. Now I just go after what I want and I don't really care what others do.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  I don't get the whole mannish dyke thing at all! I put a lot of effort into looking feminine and attractive when I go out. It makes me feel happy as an expression of who I am, and I like to think of clothes like paint and my body type and shape like the canvas, so outfits are a fun creative outlet for me...
  
  I just totally admire feminine beauty and I guess I sometimes feel inadequate when a masculine woman appeals to someone I like, like "whats wrong with me being femme thats not good enough?"
  
  I know looks arent everything of course but Im not so concerned with looking morally up on the high horse that I cant talk candidly about looks. Personality is of course the main deciding factor, but still... when the gorgeous lipstick girl who puts models to shame is hanging out with the biker chick with more facial hair than most dudes with a 5 oclock shadow... sometimes ya wonder
  
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  - lufa
    
    12 years ago
    
    haha, I hear you. Ya I'll never understand the dyke thing either. I guess they want a man with a vagina-they could always go for a FTM transsexual. It seems like that a part of them is still very girlish who wants a man to take care of them but they are turned off by penises. We'll leave it up to the psychologists to figure that one out.
    
    Like you I also really, really admire feminine beauty and if you happen to have won the genetic lottery, then consider yourself lucky. I respect women like yourself who put in time and effort to look good. Perhaps your attractiveness intimidates others? Either way thank your lucky stars and keep fishing-you'll no doubt find some beautiful girl who's in a similar boat.
    
    While looks "aren't everything", they are still very important-at least to people like me. It may sound superficial but the fact is that I can't be with someone I'm not attracted to. It's usually ugly/ordinary people who push that view.
    
    I want a girl who makes my pulse race when I see her, who makes me want to travel 1000 miles to be with her and who makes me feel vital and alive. It's hard to find girls like that but I'd rather wait than to settle with an average girl who doesn't excite me at all.
    
    Certainly personality matters a lot too-hard to be with someone who's an idiot or is just plain weird in a not so cute way. Hey it's also Evolution, that is why tigers are terrifying and extremely beautiful at the same time. Nobody mated with the ugly ones and they died off. :P
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      12 years ago
      
      This whole comment made me feel really happy to read :) Thank you!
      
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      - lufa
        
        12 years ago
        
        Glad to know and you're welcome. It's what I do ma'am, spread joy, love and happiness wherever I go. hehe
        
        Now I just need to find me a sexy and sweet girl to shower her with some of that goodness too. :D
        
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        [Old Memory]
        
        12 years ago
        
        haha nice pic! c:
        
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disco_diva

12 years ago

As a big girl myself I've always felt less attractive than my friends. I have battled with my weight for years and a lot of ppl have brung me down (friends and family included). I have got the last laugh though I have an amazing partner of 6 years who worships me and loves me for who I am. He is my actual real life hero. It's not all about the outside but the inside too. U will find someone special who deserves u for u x

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Ldizzy1234

12 years ago

That girl sounds kind of slutty anyway. I mean, who just starts making out with a chick that they just meet at a club? And the fat girl actually had the audacity to come right out and ask her to make out? Wow...

You're probably better off. And its not always about looks either. Sometimes people just look for someone with a brain. I'm not saying that you don't have one, but apparently the girl that you had your eye on that night didn't, and the girl she chose over you didn't either. I mean, who just makes out with some random person? And how could she think that its appropriate at all to ask someone who she barely knows a question like that. Psh... you'll find someone who deserves you. Don't worry.

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DollyBoots

11 years ago

Mby your just not that hot?

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jucedaguy

11 years ago

Fat girls fuck better and obviously your crush knows that.

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thatguy35

12 years ago

um... i dont even know what to say to that ... must be quite the club you go to.

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GuessWho

12 years ago

Sucks to be you.

But you never know, you crush might have said yes to anyone (including you), if she was just horny and easy. People like that do exist.

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flax

12 years ago

You sound like the jealous one

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Anonymous Post Author

12 years ago

Man, everyone is seriously making huge assumptions here... it's not like I said I felt proud for having negative thoughts like that, or even that I didnt regret having them. I do. It still doesnt mean Im just going to lie and say I didnt think about it, I thought this site was to be able to admit things that you normally wouldnt.

Besides every last one of you thats calling me shallow or full of myself or that I think Im the shit (which I never said once) are just hypocrites. Theres a huge difference between having a thought and acting on it. I guarantee you all of you have noticed a persons looks before. It only makes you a bad person if you act on it, and the only action I took was to post a question about it.

I guess its more of a thing with confidence and maybe I should be more confident in the future. Its not like I walk around the club thinking "Im so hot and fit and Im the shit" if I was truly that full of myself I wouldnt be shy.

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badmanalive

12 years ago

Wow, that lesbian's got some balls!

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tbiM20

12 years ago

Did you ask for a kiss before the other chick showed up? Sounds like that girl is just easy... not that she rejected you.

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solidman

12 years ago

are you a lesbian??

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- Kutiekat
  
  12 years ago
  
  Uh, dur. She mentioned that all of them are girls.
  
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  - solidman
    
    12 years ago
    
    are u lesbian?
    
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    - Kutiekat
      
      12 years ago
      
      Look at my profile. I'm BI.
      
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      - solidman
        
        12 years ago
        
        Lol
        But are you single?
        
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        solidman
        
        12 years ago
        
        Lol joke you don't have to answer that =p
        
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal to feel jealous a fat girl got lucky when im skinny and hot?