Is it normal to feel intimidated by your partner?

65% Normal
5 Comments

For some reason, I get intimidated around my dude. Things that I can do with friends and whoever I can't do around him. He is smart, a handyman, picky and organized. I guess all those factors play into the reason why but still its such a drastic change. For example, I was helping move in to his new apartment and he asked me to help him build his bed and desk. My was I useless lol I even straight up said it because I rather have made fun of myself than have him make fun of me. Recently, I helped my friend move in and also helped him build his dresser and desk and its not like I was such an expert but I took charge and wasn't nervous or anxious to read the instructions and go through with it even if I messed up. I can't imagine doing that with my bf. I'll "try" to take charge but I know I'll mess up or I'll be too slow for him. Although he probably won't say it out loud, he'll be thinking "I rather do this by myself." It sucks...I wish I can be as useful with him as I am with everyone else. I get so intimidated and I honestly and drastically change to this low, useless girl. I've seen cases where the girl jokes about not knowing how to cook, clean, build things, etc and she moves on and accepts herself and it seems like her dude accepts her too. But for me, I try to act like I accept it and don't care but eventually, it bugs me. I want him to rely on me and look at me like a handy gf, not like "yeah my gf doesn't know much but I still love her." Sometimes I wish I didn't care but like I said, it catches up to me that I do care deep inside. How do guys really feel about their girls or girls in general not being that useful? How important is it? And is this normal to feel this intimidated by your partner? like he/she is blocking your way? And should I just learn to accept it or learn to be useful?

Voting Results
65% Normal
Based on 31 votes (20 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Vanessa_Brown
    9 years ago

    IMO It is normal... there is always going to be things he is better at then you and visa versa. Your statement "I rather have made fun of myself than have him make fun of me." suggests you don't want him to think down of you. It is like Mountain Man said once you start being more comfortable with each other it'll get easier. You'll then laugh together about it BUT he should never make you feel like you are inferior or insignificant. As you grow together he might go out of his way to help you build confidence in the areas you feel less qualified. Continuously insulting or making fun of yourself MIGHT suggests to him you don't want to learn or would rather see him do it. If he does get the attitude he can do it faster by himself then you can take charge and think of something you might want to build by yourself...start small. No matter what he thinks it'll show you do have a genuine interest in learning new skills to feel helpful/useful. Either way it will be an accomplishment for you. Good luck!

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  • TareBear20
    9 years ago

    It's assbackwards in my home. I'm the "handy man" .. I don't think it's normal to be intimidated by someone who is supposed to make you comfortable, but I see what you mean and can definitely understand it. So long as one of you can do the handy work, I see no problem. It won't hurt, however to try picking up some new skills. Start by heading into the kitchen and fixing your man a sandwich this very moment.

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  • mountain-man82
    9 years ago

    Its normal, but you should always try to grow. When it comes to helping the bf try to pretend hes just a friend till you can become comfortable enough to just help without getting nervous or uncomfortable.

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  • green_boogers
    9 years ago

    I am intimidated by the lack of paragraphs in your post.

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  • Fall_leaves
    9 years ago

    Get a job, it might give you some confidence. Show him your strengths in other areas or get a degree. You shouldn't be intimidated, grab the bull by the horns.

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