Is it normal to feel guilty for being trans*?

77% Normal
5 Comments

(Bit of a read, tl;dr section below.)
Over the years, I realized that I wasn't comfortable with my biological gender...it's hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it. I felt this way as a child, long before I knew the term for this.

In the past couple years (I am 18), I have been slowly 'coming out'. I started with a few online friends who were thankfully very accepting, and then my closest 'offline' friend, who was also very accepting.

However, I now have my family left. My mother calls transgender people freaks, says they're 'nature's mistakes', so I'm a little too wary to come out to her...though I will have to eventually, as I am getting my name and physical appearance changed (no surgery). My dad is someone I avoid talking to for reasons, and my brother (16) simply doesn't understand.

TL;DR: I've always had problems with guilt, and it's really kicking in here. I feel bad for having to have everyone I know adjust to this (opposite pronouns, different voice, etc.), even the people who accepted it...heck, I feel really selfish somehow.

is it normal to feel like this?

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 22 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • shuggy-chan
    9 years ago

    Normal, maybe but u have to be who ur comfortable being. In the end its what u think and feel that matter

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    It's sadly normal to feel guilty, but you can't help something that is out of your control. I know that it is your family and that you don't want to disappoint them, but at some point you have to stop putting others in front of yourself. If they don't get it or accept you, you'll have to decide whether or not it is worth having them as a part of your life.

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  • Couman
    9 years ago

    I don't know if it's normal to feel guilty or not, but I don't think you should; you haven't done anything wrong.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Guilt is like a rocking horse; lots of action that gets you nowhere.
    Don't waste you energy on that useless feeling. If others choose not to accept these changes, then that really is their problem, not yours.
    If you lose friends, then they weren't really friends, and I'm sure you will meet others as you move into your new lifestyle.
    I'm sorry, I've got no suggestions about your family. I was raised by my biologic parents, but we were not close at all and their was zero affection in our family.

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  • Goomats
    9 years ago

    I understand why you feel guilty. It's not your fault though. Sadly, you may always wrestle with some guilt but hopefully you can come to peace with it.

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