Iin, to fear questioning my feelings for this person?

100% Normal

For years, I have had a very special, complicated and mysterious relationship with someone. The relationship is weird in how it came to be. The tale is long, complex and may be hard for some to believe so, I won't go into it.

We have always loved each other in the platonic sense… or so, it was supposed to be…

About an hour ago, I was writing a draft on my blog about our relationship, in a vague way, and about how much I care for this person. I wrote some things that I always intended to say. Writing these things made me start to question how I feel for this person. Whether I love them deep down, in the romantic way. I fear questioning this. I feel as though I am embarking into forbidden territory. I'm scared about what it would mean if I actually did feel about them in this way.

This person means so much to me. This person has always been so understanding and accepting towards me, but I don't know how such a revelation would make them respond. If these feelings were to jeopardize our special relationship, I could just die. I'd be so lost without this person. I don't think that I could cope. That's how much they mean to me.

Please help. What should I do? Is this normal?

Voting Results

100% Normal

Based on 4 votes

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Comments ( 16 )

dom180

9 years ago

Are there no choice words you could use to describe your relationship to this person? You don't have to tell the whole story. Calling it nothing more than special, complicated and mysterious only makes it harder for us to give you any kind of enlightened judgement.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I'll try. For a long time, we had a pseudo-parent-child like relationship. It was like that from when we first came into contact and when I was 18. Ending, I believe, when I turned 19. We have zero relation that I know of. My "friend" is in some ways not a friend, yet is. We have had more of a spiritual connection than a more physical one. As far as I know, there have only been three times when my friend attempted to contact me more physically. The first one was to give me a gift, that had significant meaning between us. I'm still not sure how the gift got inside my house. The second one, was supposed to be very important, because we were supposed to meet in person for the first time. Unfortunately, things didn't work out as planned.
  
  My friend in many ways is almost like a guardian to me. My friend is like my shadow, my other half. Every time I have given up hope about us, my friend always manages to somehow reinter my life. Due to the nature of the relationship my friend seems to know more about me than I know of her. Contacting my friend is very difficult. My friend seems to have trouble contacting me. If I am going to tell her, the posts are probably only way that I will be able to do.
  
  I hope this clears some things up.
  
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kelili

9 years ago

You would not die, you would be extremely embarrassed. Give it a try.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I may live but my heart will be broken and our connection severed if it doesn't go right. Those posts are the only way that I will be able to get my feelings out to my friend. I'll post the first and then wait to post the second.
  
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1badassog&AA

9 years ago

This person loves more then any other can't you FEEL that? (fear) and I contain it has killed more people then EVERYTHING else combined and its a lie! (fear) stops people from ever doing the things make life worth living. SPELL OUT FOR YOUR FRIEND LOUD & CLEAR your true feelings! Throw ALL caution to the wind and LIVE YOUR DREAMS! If you believe you can or you believe you can't I promise you either way your right! Most people never truly LIVE will you? Whatever happens was meant to! One day you will say I AM glad I did or I wish I had so which will it be? I say fuck ANYTHING that gets in the way of LIVING! Life is the greatest gift of all because without it there are no other gifts! LIVE! Love to all of you

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Freedom_

9 years ago

You've never physically met this person and, furthermore, she broke into your house leaving a "gift" that for heaven's sake could have been a BOMB?!?!

BEWARE!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I know it may seem stalkerish and shady but it isn't that way at all. This is part of what makes our relationship so strange and unconventional. We met through something mystical. I don't know quite what to call it or if there is even a name for it, but it went from there. I think I may have met this person once… but I am not entirely sure at this point.
  
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  - Freedom_
    
    9 years ago
    
    Ohhh ok. Like astral projection? No technological communication at all?... Very interesting... Now I am so curious, you must tell me how you met and communicate?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      We had some pseudo technological communication. My friend sending a sign and me finding a video about something which we both shared in common. I think that video was posted by my friend. Many years later, I sent a message to that account and got a reply in a dream. In the past, for a period of time, I would randomly get these calls by an unknown number and I kept wondering if that was my friend.
      
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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

Tread lightly, some grand proclamation of romantic love could ruin the friendship. Unless of course attempting to get want from your friend means more to you than the friendship itself.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Thank you. I'll take it slow with the posts. I'll see what type of reaction that the first one gives my friend, before posting anymore. If there's no message. I'll keep having to post. I can't help but to feel like I am already at the point of no return.
  
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carminepersico

9 years ago

Friendship is gay

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handsignals

9 years ago

Stop over thinking things, relax and fuck this person.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  It may seem as I am, but I am not over thinking things. I don't think that simply engaging in sex at this point would be as easy as it sounds. I said that our relationship was a complicated one.
  
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  - handsignals
    
    9 years ago
    
    Getting naked makes things uncomplicated, don't be afraid to expose yourself (emotionally I mean). It sounds like you really like this person, tell them, maybe they feel the same way, if not fuck it.
    
    It's better to ragret something you did than to ragret something you didn't do.
    http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_content_width/hash/b4/d3/b4d39b2962f7e7ac23159684cd651356.jpg?itok=gcsr8lPP
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Lol! Was that Axel Rose?!
      
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Iin, to fear questioning my feelings for this person?