Is it normal to fantasize about my dad when he was 22?

30% Normal
5 Comments

First off, I am a 22 year old women and I work in an entry level accounting position. I'm perfectly functional, have my own car, apartment, social life and I'm physically average.

I have this secret that I have been hiding since I was 16 and I believe I've found the place to express it: I fantasize about being in a full-blown, serious relationship with my Dad when he was 22.

My parents are divorced. My Mom treated my Dad like dirt for many years and combined with PTSD from the Gulf War, it warped who he was as a person before my very eyes. He went from being a plucky, happy-go lucky and fun-loving guy to a depressed and suicidal alcoholic and even though she is gone, he still struggles. One day, at 16, I was cleaning the house and found a curious box full of his military medals and other memorable items and found a picture of him at 22, 6 months before meeting my Mom.

Since then, I have created an elaborate, full-blown fantasy of my Dad and I together before he was my Dad. In my mind, he is the guy in the picture - a young, fun-loving soldier in his cammies who swept me off my feet. I supported him through his PTSD recovery, he supported me through the building of my career, we had fun, we stuck together through hard times, had children... it gets pretty deep. Then I get angry at my Mom because I feel like fate is a bitch for giving such a great man to her when, if I could travel back in time (derp, I wouldn't exist) and replace her, he would be happy, healthy and as plucky as ever today.

So... Is it in any way normal to fantasize about this and how quickly should I see a therapist?

Voting Results
30% Normal
Based on 30 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • seekelp
    9 years ago

    "if I could travel back in time (derp, I wouldn't exist) and replace her"

    Isn't this the plot of Terminator?

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  • Mersaphe
    9 years ago

    well that's certainly an interesting post, op.
    it's normal to find a photo of your father when he was younger and consider him attractive, and it's also normal to miss his old fun personality instead of his currently depressed state.
    some people might say it's weird for you to think about having children with your father (when he was the age you are now) - but i feel like it's just a continuation of your infatuation with him (and the fact that you are jealous of your mother and despise the way she treated him).

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Yes it's normal to happen in life

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  • sexysonofsam
    9 years ago

    I think it is normal for a girl to fantasize about her father, after all, he is mostly the only man she knows all about?

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    • sunshinemoonlight
      7 years ago

      yeah or her brothers

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