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I've noticed the most successful women (in worldly terms) manage to keep their husbands happy. I struggle to do that, but we still have good intimacy on the physical side. Sometimes I think he puts too much pressure on me. Does he need to let up or do I need to take more caffeine and woman up to be a better wife? How to find the happy balance?
It's your life too. If you feel estranged, then perhaps a bit of distance is in order, to figure things out.
You should never feel obligated to do 'for your husband' and not yourself. It's not supposed to be a one way street or a slave/master relationship, but a partnership of teamwork.
You only think that most women are doing better than you. Some people are better at hiding their problems.
If you schedule is more flexible then his, then just be ready for him any time any place.
Maybe you're overworked, under appreciated?
I would, however, go to couples therapy with him to work through those old issues. If he's not willing to go to therapy as a couple then you can at least get help for yourself.
He wants me to be more involved in his small business during the week and do more as a family on weekends. I am tired during the week and have to devote the energy I have to our child. And, I honestly think he is angry about things from years ago, which is more destroying our marriage than my lack of involvement.