Is it normal to cyber stalk your significant other online & check their cell?

64% Normal
12 Comments

Here is the background to my story to help explain my paranoia about my boyfriend:
I found out he belonged to a message board designed for men looking to hook up with prostitutes. He was an active forum contributor for over a year. I discovered that he was a member on this site 4 months ago and read through all 600 and something posts he has made on this site.
I know he received several services from these women and had written reviews about them. He even made a video with one of his favorite prostitutes that I found online.

During our entire 2 year relationship he has always hidden his phone and kept it locked, which I pointed out to him was very suspicious behavior if he has nothing to hide. He continued to deny any wrong doing until I discovered hard evidence of him cheating.

He has been singing a very different tune lately, that he's striving to change who is he for the better and went to several sex addicts anonymous meetings, but stopped going after about 5 sessions.
He recently got an iPhone, but for whatever reason will not add his email address to his phone so that it fetches the messages for him. Which leads me to believe that he is doing something behind my back again.

Some days I go absolutely nuts searching online all day long for his email address or his handle on various sites. I even created fake email addresses pretending to be the prostitutes he has met to see if he will reply to them. I've also created fake facebook and Linkedin accounts to look his name up and to see if he's friends with anyone on there. I try and think of ways I can steal his phone away from him and go through it when he's not looking, although I always see him deleting his browsing history after every little thing he looks up these days.

So, is my cyber stalking and cell phone paranoia behavior normal?

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 73 votes (47 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • wigsplitz
    13 years ago

    What's not normal is the fact that you are putting up with his shit. Leave!!

    What's going to happen if you do manage to get ahold of his phone? You're going to find exactly what you already know is there. Then what? Are you going to leave if you find what you're looking for? Or are you going to hang around longer and get treated like shit?

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  • strbamn
    13 years ago

    He is fucking 1 or more chic behind ur back. Sorry to be the one to tell u sweetie but he is cheating on u

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  • GenderFluidKid
    8 years ago

    In this situation it's understandable. However you should break up with him, seriously it's disgusting he's doing this to you. You deserve a guy who respects you enough to only be with you.

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  • charity
    13 years ago

    Really?? U dont deserve anything better than this relationship??? Hell, even if u ended up alone u would be better off spiritually and emotionally than u are right now with this moron.. Come on.... Do u really have to think about this????

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  • BfingIToucher
    13 years ago

    Other than leaving him, you need to go to a doctor and get tested! Has someone mentioned that? Sex with multiple prostitutes? Who knows what he may be carrying. Posting all of his behavior online, including a video? I wouldn't sit in a room with this guy. I hope he eventually gets the help he needs for his sex addiction, but you need to get out. He is not even close to having this under control if he's keeping these secrets. If he wants you, he should be an open book, considering his past.

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  • HSVWHO
    13 years ago

    I'd leave... 2 years and he doesn't think u should know what is in his phone and email??? Fuk that! U have too much patience lady!

    He is definitely doing others, if u wanna find out, hack into his email. You can learn how to do it.

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  • cami0423
    13 years ago

    you have every right to be waching him and be paranoid but remember you deserve better and you deserve to be happy:) make a good decision that will bennifit you, not him, and not yall as a couple, just you.:) good luck:)

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  • Inspector019
    13 years ago

    No it is not normal. Normal people would leave his prostitute pokin' self!

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  • CountryRoads
    13 years ago

    God this sounds like a miserable way to live.

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  • TyLee
    13 years ago

    Please leave him!!! I'm in almost the same exact situation as you!!! Just leave and take care of yourself. Trust me I know you must feel insane and miserable and afraid trying to find out anything else that he might be doing or trying to catch him. I have caught my bf so many times...my stories are very sad... He even hit me when I caught him the first time. But I stayed. I wish that I left him the first time but as time went on it got harder and harder and unfortunately I'm still with him. Anyway the way that you feel is completely normal... But trust me I know from experience you are always going to be paranoid about this and for good reason! Sadly he probably is at it again... Btw next time you check his iPhone look for an icon called pocket clock...it will be purple if he has the free version and it's really porn.. you click info on the left and type in poon for the password to get in. If he paid for this app it may be a different icon and the password is different. There are a few apps like that to watch out for anyway... That look innocent. I've seen one for "having an affair" and meeting prostitutes but i dont have any info on that one except that you have to pay for it. Good luck and please just leave!! You will be so much better off.

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  • 8Serene8
    13 years ago

    Why are you still with this guy??

    But yes if a man won't let you see his history on his phone/computer then he is hiding something. Maybe not necessarily cheating, but men for some reason feel the need to hide the fact that they look up porn. Lol. Even so.

    You need to leave him. It's no way to live constantly needing to check up on him and honestly if he has cheated in you before he will do it again and again.

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  • wreckd
    13 years ago

    My husband and I have been together for 7 years and he still doesn't let me go through his phone. I've been able to sneak to it alot so I know he has nothing to hide (unless he deletes it).

    BUT! You're guy sounds like a cheating bastard so I agree with everyone above me. Leave him.

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