Is it normal to consider perfectly decent friends something of a burden?

76% Normal
2 Comments

I don't have a particularly wide circle of friends, but they are all perfectly decent human beings (Even if, in some cases, they can be needy. See also: http://isitnormal.com/story/is it normal to-find-it-tough-being-around-a-friend-who-really-likes-you-134307/).

However, I often find that I feel this way even after having met up with a friend that I find easier to handle, and usually like to have some recovery time to myself for a few days.

The people who are most enthusiastic about me being a friend (in their eyes) are often people with autism of some kind.
I might be very different from them - even though I also have the same condition as them, on some level - and I know that it's nice to have the company of other people sometimes... but I feel like there's pressure on me somehow.

The last time I met up with a newly rediscovered friend from a drama group I did during my teens (Call him Sanjeet), he brought along another friend without telling me beforehand.
Although it was a bit of a surprise that Sanjeet brought someone else along, it was good in a way as Sanjeet focused a lot of his attention on the other person and I had room to dip in and out of my own head for a while.

However, there are people who I reckon I get on far better with (Even if they don't always get on with me to the same level or in the same way), that I sometimes don't keep in contact with. I know that contacting them is extremely simple, but then I start worrying about whether I'm doing and saying the right things, worrying about using them and so on.

Friendships are complicated, man (Unless you count one-night conversations with strangers on Omegle)

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 37 votes (28 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 2 )
  • yourcompanion
    11 years ago

    I second Ginatripodi. I'm introverted and often find myself in similar situations. I know exactly how you feel when you say you need recovery time after being with friends. Heck I even ignore calls from my best friend just to get some time off and alone. Worst thing is, there is no polite way to tell anyone that you need a break from them. I guess you just need to learn how to cope. Try set up catch-ups with adequate time intervals between them, so end a conversation with 'see you next week;. Or just say you'll be busy the next few days.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • ginatripodi
    11 years ago

    You're probably an introvert. Introverts get strength from being alone; extraverts get strength from being with others. Don't feel odd. There are many many people like you, but people don't like to admit it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0