Is it normal to compare your boyfriend to your ex?

69% Normal
4 Comments

I've only been in two relationships; one a while back and one I'm currently in. The last one I was in lasted for a year and it was 2 years ago. The relationship had a lot of bumps but we really loved each other and I could honestly say that everytime I was with him, my heart skipped a beat. When we'd be intimate, I felt like we made love rather than just having sex. In other words, there was obviously something there. We broke up last year because of personal problems.

After a whole year of being single, I'm finally back in the dating scene. I've only been dating my new boyfriend for a few of months. I know it's early and all, but it's just so different and I'm not used to it. I really like him but there's not really a spark there. When we kiss, I'm not really into it because his kisses are really different and when we're around each other, I don't really get butterflies for some strange reason. I understand that it's only the beginning and it'll take time to get accostomed to everything but when I was a couple of months into my past relationship, I always got butterflies and I already felt a spark, or just something there in general. I feel like a dick honestly, but that's the way how I feel. And I'm not planning on going back to my ex; he's been dating this wonderful girl for a while now and I'm happy for him (I've already moved on). I know that it's been a while since I've kissed anyone other than my ex and I haven't been in relationship for a long time so that's probably why I'm not really into it; I'm not used to it.
My boyfriend is a great and wonderful guy and I'm happy to have him since it's rare to find guys like him these days but the whole intimacy and butterflies thing isn't there.
It's bad to compare, yes. But is it normal to feel this way? Is it normal to compare them considering that I really do like my boyfriend and I'm over my ex?

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 16 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    I think it's pretty normal, but a pretty bad thing to do. That path leads to no good, so you should try not to do it.

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  • Fall_leaves
    9 years ago

    There are a lot of nice guys but that doesn't mean they're the right guy for you. Why are you staying with your current bf if it lacks passion and intimacy, you should date around until you find the guy that you're crazy about.

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  • mystery7
    9 years ago

    Sometimes it takes time to get used to being intimate and sexual with a new partner. The sexual spark can take longer to 'ignite'. I have experienced the opposite ends of this spectrum of sexual chemistry, and much in between.

    But only you know if there's something there to work with. It could be that you are not right for each other. Give it some time and see how you feel down the track.

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  • 213
    9 years ago

    Change that tune who you fooling here ,you still have feelings for your Ex

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