Is it normal to care a lot about what people think after growing up like this?

When I was a young teenager in my middle school years (to be more specific, it started in 4th grade for some damn reason), I was an outcast, I was a full-time nerd, all I cared about was getting good grades and not just for my parents but I really did care about my grades (those were the days, anyways). But middle school has to be that chapter where you are introduced to new objectives in life, or so we think, that are really just trends that die out but in our minds its a necessity to survive the world. So I didnt care about that stuff until I got tired of being teased at school from pushing me around to finding out I had gum in my hair. I knew I had to do something in order to not get murdered which was like next (I was too smart to cut myself or injure myself in any way). This lasted til...now? Well once i entered high school I knew I couldnt enter as the nerd and continue to be tortured so I changed and began to dress more decent, try hanging out with outgoing people but damn was it hard or what. I grew up to realize okay, nerds can party too but I was too ignorant to see that before. So I regret dissing my nerds cause now Im as dumb as a rock. So I dont fit in with outgoing people or nerds, where do I fit in? Story of my life. So now as im the most normal human being you will ever meet, so normal that im strange in this f*cked up world, I walk observing others for themselves and how theyre responding to me all because I came from growing up as an outcast. If people say I think too much about what others think of me, well I have a reason; I didnt quite grow up with a group of friends or one true best friend so now Im stuck, trying to let go and enjoy life before I get too old but I just cant seem to and its all cause of my past of an outcast.