Is it normal to be with someone you love but not be happy?

70% Normal
9 Comments

I have a feeling that a lot of couples especially already married are unhappy but still love each other which is why they are still together but miserable. So its almost like theyre forcing each other to be together cause they wanna make it work since they love each other but its just not working out. What do you do in this situation? If its normal?

I'm wondering cause in my case, my relationship has come such a long way. Last year at this time, we weren't exactly in a relationship but seeing each other so my bfs behavior was really wishy washy since he wasn't considering to be with me official yet. Today things have progressed and I'm so happy cause I look back and don't know why I settled down for his behavior but then remember I just knew he was worth it and you can say I was right considering how he is now. He's a lot more caring and serious about me but now that kind of scares me cause he's more picky and observant of me. I've always been insecure around him cause he intimidates me. He's not a bad person but just who he is makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him. He doesn't tell me that but there are moments where you can tell he's turned off and it just makes me die. I truly feel like I'm not good enough for him and even if he says he's fine with me right now, I think of those older couples that I was mentioning before and fear of becoming them. It seems like he does want to be with me but he knows very well he can do better than me and later in the future, it'll hit him and hell either leave me or cheat on me.

Am I just over analyzing and need to work on my self-esteem? Cause if he's w me and tells me he's happy w me then I should be fine right? Not to mention, good enough for him? Or am I on track and should work on being better for him or leave him cause its not gonna work out later in the future?

Voting Results
70% Normal
Based on 23 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • NeofelisNebulosa
    8 years ago

    Someone once told me that relationships are always a work in progress and that there is no magical, perfect true love, just two people's willingness to stay together despite the problems that might arise. I don't have enough to experience to fix your problem, but I do think that if you ever reach a point where you are truly unhappy in your relationship, you have a right to leave. Maybe it is possible to fix failing or broken relationships, but that would require a huge effort from both people.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Yeah I agree with you. It is the willingness that makes the relationship and thats cause it shows how much love there is. But like I said, I believe two people can love each other and be unhappy at the same time BUT if you love them enough and want to be with them, then youll make it work no matter how unhappy you are. I also agree though that if you are truly unhappy meaning to the point where you don't want to be with them anymore then yes you have the right to leave. So I guess as long as they both do want to be together then itll work out. Again I agree with you, at the end it takes both of them to feel this willingness. Sigh...I mean I guess then you can say I shouldn't feel too worried about us because if this was last year, then I'd end it cause he didn't show much willingness to be with me but he has progressed and showed me he does want me and as for me, its a no brainer I wanna be with him. So we should be good.

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  • Qwertyzxc
    8 years ago

    Unless you have kids together, I don't see a point in being with a person who makes you unhappy.

    Run, and don't look back!

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  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    You could try relationship counseling.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I think we're too young for that or fresh in our relationship. But I'm guessing you believe there is a possibility of him feeling like he can do better than me and us ending up like those couples?

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      • Arm0se
        8 years ago

        Nonononono! I never said that! You just said you two were unhappy, unhappy couples that want to stay together seek help from an outside source :c

        I guess you could try to fix it internationally, but I don't know how to give advice on that.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Oh okay well cause you said we should look into couples counseling so I thought you agreed and that was your advice.

          But yeah I would like to fix it just between us but an outside source can help (like on here or you). In order to fix it between us tho, I want to know what is the truth or else I wont know where to start. Idk if I am right or I am just over-analyzing it and should relax.

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          • Arm0se
            8 years ago

            If you want my help pm me. Maybe it's not the best idea to talk about it in the open like this.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              Well thanks for that but I do see a lot of "private" convos out here in the open so I think it would be okay I mean I am "anonymous"

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