Is it normal to be unsure if someone is into you or hates you?

I genuinely can't tell if one of my coworkers has a crush on me or hates me and wants me to stay the fuck away (even though I'm pretty quiet and rarely talk to him).

This guy is generally known as an awkward bachelor, but he's very funny and sociable with everyone (men and women alike) except me. He doesn't speak to me unless I ask him a question, in which case I might get a short answer. He seems to avoid looking me in the eye. It's been like this since my first day, so I don't think I could have offended him. We had to work alone together on a project and at first he barely spoke to me, but after a while he'd initiate some low-level chit chat. He smiles at the jokes I make, but I'm not sure if he's laughing with or at me...

We haven't worked together directly for a while, so he's gone back to being very reserved around me - if we're about to pass each other in the halls he looks at the ground and steps out of his way to avoid walking too close to me. I've sat near him at lunch and he goes from having a lively conversation with someone else to being completely silent and staring at his plate. I saw him at the bar recently and he yelled hi to me, which I took as a friendly gesture, but when I tried to talk to him the next morning he was extremely awkward.

I'm not really sure how to proceed - I'm being transferred to another department in a few weeks, and if he dislikes me I can just avoid interacting with him until then. If he's interested but just extremely shy and awkward, I'd pursue it.

Voting Results
74% Normal
Based on 19 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Arm0se

    This sounds like me. Ya he's just really shy and inexperienced. If you want him your going to have to make the first move.

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  • theseeker

    I don't think he hates you because he has no reason to. I assume he's probably into you. Introverted or shy people tend to get this way because the fear of saying or doing something that will put you off. I don't know why that is. Our minds seem to be wired differently than the rest. He apparently hasn't been able to get past that. If you wanna pursue it go for it. You never know, it might be worth it.

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  • Alysin

    I do this when I think someone is cute or like them because I'm pretty awkward also. The fact that he shouted hi to you outside of work tells me that he's afraid of hitting on you in the work place since he could get reported for sexual harassment. A lot of women report men for anything even remotely close to it, so I can't blame him for being cautious.
    I'd say pursue it if you want to, but outside of work since that's when he seems more comfortable.

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    • The sexual harassment thing is why I avoid chit chat as well.

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  • chained_rage

    I'm just gonna answer your question because I can't read your entire post right now.

    "IIN to be unsure if someone is into you or hates you"

    Here's a tip:

    - if they come bearing gifts, they like you
    - if they come bearing arms, they don't like you

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    • NeofelisNebulosa

      What if their gifts ARE arms?

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      • Unimportant

        What if their arms are gifts?

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  • Elixis

    This guy has a HARD infatuation for you. Even if you make moves on him he'll deny it inside himself. I think you should take action if you like him back tho, he seems too shy to ever do something about it.

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  • Short4Words

    He probably has no reason to ignore you. I'd say he has the hots for you.

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  • Maybe he really doesn't care all that much. I don't bother talking to my co workers all that much. You're at work, not "fun time".

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  • MissClaire

    For me, I would just give him the cold shoulder back, I hate that shit.

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  • NathanScot

    I'd say go for it lass,he's clearly into you.

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