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On medication (450 mg),psychotherapy, counselling even attending chruch and still wake up questioning my existence. Is this normal for depressed people? Could there be something else wrong with me or am I destined to be like this forever.
Those medications are no good. If you're feeling this way, you just haven't found your purpose yet. You should explore the world, go to new places, meet new people. Make an adventure out of it and don't isolate yourself or worry about the past or what anyone says.
Because antidepressants are not proven to work and many scientists are proving that fact, I know it's tough but you really need to work on the therapy LIKE ARRRRGH!!!!! like you can do it, just scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But there is also a theory that Doggone66 touched on. Artistic people and other geniuses in history are known for having depression issues as being a part of their "creative process". But, on the other end of that spectrum, there are geniuses and artists who aren't that way. It goes back to the age old philosophical question about what is normal, what is crazy, etc etc. If that type of thing interests you, I would suggest reading "Socrates Cafe". It touches on those subjects but you can also find lots of other information and books on it. You never know, it could inspire you in ways you never thought possible!
It is normal but it is not ok. You shouldn't ever accept that for yourself. If your doctor is ignoring this or your counselor is, get new ones. If you think your religion is contributing, find a new religion. Or at least a new church/temple. This is not ok, no one should live like this. I would suggest looking into other avenues of biological reasons. Maybe scans on your brain or seeking a hormonal doctor. If you had a tumor or abnormality in your brain, that could be affecting your moods. If your hormones are messed up for your body, not for the average scale of what's normal, then that could definitely be affecting your mood and finding a doctor who understands that different people have a different homeostatic hormonal balance is important in that matter. I would also GREATLY suggest finding a new psychiatrist for a second or third or fourth opinion. It could be that you've been misdiagnosed and if that is the case, you could be getting the wrong medication and actually making the problem worse instead of better. There are so many mental and physical factors that contribute to depression and you may want to find a doctor who knows that and not one who just wants to give you medication and get you out of there. Depression can be anything from too much or too less of a hormone to rare and even treatable problems in the brain or with one of the hormone creating organs in the body to a tiny tumor on your pituitary gland (my cousin had that and she had it removed, now shes fine) to another mental problem entirely. There are so many things that could be happening and if what you're doing now isn't working, you need to be doing something differently and you need doctors who will help you achieve that. Maybe even a nateuropathic doctor, they do things naturally instead of using hard chemical medications when and if they can. However, talk to these new doctors before you stop taking any medication because although I want to be a doctor I am not one. I am giving you only suggestions on how to help yourself so you can get someone to pay attention more closely and figure out what's really going on even if it's something as simple as changing your meds. I wish you well!!! :)