Is it normal to be this emotionally unavailable with someone they want?

Okay so someone please determine if I am wasting my time because he's not into me or if everything is okay and its just that he's emotionally unavailable.

My bf and I became long-distance unfortunately a while ago. Before that though, he confused me with how he felt about me but back then, he wasn't my bf. So in other words, when I moved, he had the choice of continuing to talk to me or stop. Not only did he continue to talk to me but he came to visit me. That alone said a lot and still says a lot that he wants to be with me. Why would he be with someone far away and visit them even during inconvenient times when he can find someone nearby?

However, he is emotionally unavailable so sometimes he makes me feel like he doesn't want to be with me. I know it may not be the case and thats just how he is but what if he shows these signs? He lacks compassion and isn't that considerate of me. For special occasions, he's kind of like blah and doesn't put much effort. In example, I remember I started balling cause he didn't do anything for my birthday and was so careless that it made me feel like hes not into me and I never got a hug or a "its okay" "Im sorry" "whats wrong?" nothing. I confronted him about it and he said "idk you just started crying out of no where and I was shocked I had no idea what to do." That obviously made me die basically.

So you see, he does these things that show he does wanna be with me but his behavior is just so bland that it makes me really question wth is going on. If he wasn't into me, why would he travel to come see me and stay in touch in the first place? So that makes me think he's just emotionally unavailable but is it normal to be this emotionally unavailable? where he lacks compassion, consideration, love and overall effort? Whats his deal?