Is it normal to be this attached after one night together?

46% Normal
15 Comments

So I met this guy on a night out with friends - normally I wouldn't even talk to someone so good-looking, but I was drunk and asked him for directions. He seemed very interested in me so I invited him to join us later for a drink (not expecting him to show) but he actually did! My friends left us together and we ended up walking back to mine after closing time and having sex. The whole evening he was extremely romantic with me and quite intense early on. He said he never meets girls and I asked him why not (he is extremely good looking) and he said he's very shy and doesn't talk to girls.

The next day I wake up all hung over and looking like crap, and he was still very romantic, very intense - he said to me that I've woken him up when he's been dead inside, that I'm his little angel (I should mention he's Greek) and when he left he said (I quote) "I don't have the words to describe what I'm feeling inside"and then said very passionately "I love you". I didn't know what to say so I just said have a nice day? He also asked if he could take a photo of me to get him through his day, he didn't want a picture of my tits or something but of my face smiling at him.

Since then he's text me saying things like "sweet little angel, i want to get lost in your oblivion, I missed you as soon as I left your house" "Everyone at work is asking if I'm on drugs because I smile constantly" "I can't wait to look into your beautiful eyes and smell your divine hair" "You're my little fairy princess" etc etc...I don't want to sound like a complete shithead but I'm English and I've never had anyone say stuff to me like that in my life. It's a little intense I guess. I'm not a fairy princess, I'm quite a liberated, independent, sexually free woman and I feel the weight of his expectation. I don't want to be this committed so quickly.

I know guys say stuff before sex but this is after and he seems incredibly sincere (can provide more details in comments), he's been begging me to meet up every night since I met him, I think he's lovely and as I said very good-looking but honestly I am a little freaked out. He works incredibly hard and doesn't seem to know many people and I don't want to take responsibility for his happiness! I'm willing to provide more details in the comments section but this is already probably a TL,DR, I guess what I'm asking is is this normal/a cultural thing? Am I just so used to emotionally stunted Brits that I'm being unfair? is it normal for him to be so obsessed after meeting me for one night?

Voting Results
46% Normal
Based on 54 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • handsignals
    9 years ago

    Too long didn't read!

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    • Notnosey1
      9 years ago

      Hahaha!! Lol! Anyway, by the time I find out where to click to comment or what box my stool sample goes into... Here is my response to your freak that's Greek. BEWARE!
      Reeling you in too fast, mirroring, maybe? Wants your picture too? Wow! What happened to being satisfied carrying my underwear in your pocket? Don't let your identity be stolen? Or he needs citizenship? Hell I execute first then have the trial!! Good luck

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      TLDR summary - hooked up casually with a Greek, he now says he loves me and is texting me obsessively, i think it's weird as we knew each other one night and was wondering if it's a cultural thing of if he's a little crazy and I should be concerned.

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      • handsignals
        9 years ago

        Greeks traditionally get married after like one date. You were basically a randomly selected female of healthy breading age.

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  • farkelu
    9 years ago

    No, it's not normal - but all too common! Stay away from him

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  • green_boogers
    9 years ago

    My guess is that you're used to emotionally stunted British males. Culturally, Greeks are always in your face. They're in your face when they're passionate, but also when they're bored, angry, impatient, etc. It's all fun know, but in time you'll be so emotionally exhausted that you'll long for a non-empathetic British robot with his face buried in a newspaper.

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  • Blue_Velvet
    9 years ago

    This is great! but wait, does he have a green card? Make sure that he already has one to determine if hes genuine or not.

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  • pleasedtomeetyou
    9 years ago

    Did you know that when you have sex, you release the hormone oxytocin which gives you the feeling of closeness/false "love"? Many people experience emotional connections after this and if they're ignorant to it, they get sucked in. It's probably just a result of this as it creates a superficial bond. I major in psychology and study chemistry so this is just something I know as fact. Also, if I remember correctly, I think somewhere along the lines of 5% of people who have one night stands actually last in a long term relationship. That means 95% of the time, there's no chance.

    Also, you wrote ".I don't want to sound like a complete shithead but I'm English and I've never had anyone say stuff to me like that in my life. " I used to study in England and I got this 10000 times before as English guys are usually quite romantic so I don't know what you're on about.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      "Oxytocin seems to have been 'designed' by nature to make a man and woman feel bonded after sex, so they would stay together and raise children," she says. "Today, the physiology of men and women still plays out according to this pattern. But estrogen seems to increase the calming and bonding effects of oxytocin, while testosterone seems to mute them. That's why women tend to feel more attached after sex than men do."

      I'm certainly not feeling this 'false love feeling', go figure. Also, I wouldn't quote statistics like that as if they mean anything at all - are you saying people who 'have one night stands' are incapable of having relationships? Or that having a one night stand means the relationship is over? Because if you're saying the first, that's ridiculous, as almost everyone my age in England has the occasional one-night stand, and if you're saying the latter, it's called a ONE NIGHT stand because it lasts for one night, so way to state the obvious.

      Maybe ugly english guys are romantic, I don't know, I don't party with that kind of guys. Good looking ones just say what they can to get with you - maybe you've been suckered in by that before, and that's why you're taking such a judgmental stance on one night stands. In relationships it's normal to say you love someone and say nice shit to them - but I've definitely never have a guy say this kind of thing so quickly. I think it's very odd.

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  • disthing
    9 years ago

    Definitely not normal.

    I'd find that level of intensity kind of scary, actually. It comes across as desperate, but worse than that, obsessive.

    Of course, he can't help how he feels. But if I were in your position, it would put me off entering into a relationship with him.

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  • xLupedOutx
    9 years ago

    Scare him off- tell him you want to be married IMMEDIATELY and have 7 children

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    • disthing
      9 years ago

      Doesn't sound like that would scare him off. Sounds more like he'd buy the ring the same day and commence the baby making.

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  • (s)aint
    9 years ago

    I think that the fact that he is a foreigner might play a role in this. I don't know much about Greek men I will admit that but for him maybe this is the correct way of showing a woman that he cares for her?

    I think that you need to see him again, grab a dinner or something and tell him that you ARE interested but that you need some space and time to get to know him before you can return his affection that quickly.

    If he is a decent man he will accept this without any hesitation.

    I do not intend to scare you off but men that are THAT affectionate always strikes me as potential control-freaks and I get my guard up instantly.

    I'd take things slow with him and make sure that he understands that you are not rejecting him but you need some time.

    I got really connected to my current boyfriend after just spending a day with him that included lots of sex and alcohol but I still kept my head cool and let things unfold in a proper pace.

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  • dom180
    9 years ago

    You have a right to be scared off. It is okay to not want the intense love of someone who is almost a complete stranger. I don't think it matters whether it's cultural or not. It isn't unfair to feel how you do.

    I've been on both sides of this fence. In my experience, extremely committed people are not good at backing off even if you tell them that their behaviour jeopardizes their chances of a future with you. They fail to change their behaviour because they can't understand why you don't like their adoration. It is often kindest to break contact with people like this quickly and completely.

    Do whatever you want. Don't let his attitude pressure you. If you don't feel the same way, you don't feel the same way. You can't force it.

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  • dickwashington
    9 years ago

    i dont know he sounds like he is comeing on a bit strong i can understand why you would feel a bit creeped out i would never say that stuff unless i really ment it i think you should give him a second chance though he sounds like an amazing guy most girls would do anything for a guy like that (i think) see where it goes its worth a shot

    good luck

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