Is it normal to be stressed out because you're not as smart as your partner?

72% Normal
3 Comments

Me and the guy Ive been talking to for almost a year have had sucha crazy journey but its mostly me because Ive been the one hurting the most since I love him so much. I feel like one of the things holding us back from being in an official relationship is the fact that I'm not as smart as he is. Yeah I can be slow and clueless and he is known to be a handyman and an expert in so many things. He's smart. I feel like I don't reach his level like I'm in a lower status than he is. But he knows that about me yet he's been talking to me for almost a year and likes me. I can say that our sense of humor has definitely helped. It can still be frustrating though not being able to be as knowledgeable. I want him to be proud of me and proud to show me off but I feel like sometimes or most of the time he is kind of ashamed of me and doesn't want to show me off or show the public like friends that we have something. It hurts but it hurts more because its true, I am dumb and can be awkward. When its just us its so special and then outside with friends he acts so indifferent, it hurts but he doesn't want to speak up and let me go. We've taken a few breaks and we realized that we miss each other so right now even when we argue we make sure to still stay together but then I ask, is it even worth it to try and stay together when he does these hurtful things like act indifferent around me in public? It sounds like the typical player playing me but I just have this gut feeling that it means more than that. Its just his personality to not express himself a lot but still, if he really likes me he would show it in public. It seems like he's either ashamed of me or he doesn't want pple to think hes in a relationship. Like I said something that he loves about me and has kept us together is my sense of humor. So I'm like okay how much more important in general is it to make someone laugh than to impress them by being smart? It seems like if it wasn't for our same sense of humor that we can't share with anyone else, it'd be done.

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72% Normal
Based on 36 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • MonAmour
    9 years ago

    Il n'est rien de réel que le rêve et l'amour. "Nothing is real but dreams and love"

    A true man seeks truth and growth in this life forgoing the aesthetic values of society. Please understand we all wear the mask. Humor shows intelligence entangled with soul. Everyone grows old and dies it is only life. Can you let go and embrace his love without feeling inadequate?

    I had a wonderful woman who could hardly understand certain concerns that consumed my thoughts. She once told me when she could not understand she would just kiss me to make it better... well it worked.

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  • ScooterNyne
    9 years ago

    This is a very common thing that pops up so don't think you are alone in feeling this way. Nobody knows everything. I am certain there are a plethora of things that you excel at that he never could. Everybody is good at something and sucks at another. You may look up to him for being a handy man and an expert at certain stuff but i'm sure he looks up to you for being an expert at the things that interest you.

    And as for his indifferent behavior, I won't try to say it's one way or the other. Maybe he is ashamed of you and maybe that's just him. But my guess is it's just in his personality. A LOT of guys are like that. showing emotion and affection for someone else feels embarrassing sometimes because we are kind of raised to be hard manly men who don't cry or love. It's stupid I know. But it happens. A guy will show his partner off usually not by how he acts out in public, but rather how often he takes them out in public. So again i wouldn't worry about it because if he was actually ashamed, he would just leave you home all the time haha.

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  • perfectxsilence
    9 years ago

    You're probably intelligent in ways he is not. In my relationship, at first, I knew we were on the same page in terms of intelligence but then it changed. I randomly started feeling like he was slightly more intelligent than me because he could talk so deeply and articulately about politics. I felt so ignorant until he kept pointing out what I knew that he was completely ignorant to.

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