Is it normal to be scared to sleep? due to sleep paralysis. please help me :'(
hello :)
Well 5 months ago i started reading about Lucid Dreaming off the internet. I had no clue that it was something popular before. So i spent a day researching about it and when it come to the night i was ready in bed to try it out, i was going to try the WILD technique, however last minute before i was going to sleep i came across the 'Sleep Paralysis" part of the page. After staying up reading about it and learning from other peoples experience i became shit scared of sleeping. I am 16 years old boy and i know it seems really silly but we all are scared of something, right? I completely scrapped the whole Lucid dreaming idea and i just wanted to forget about everything i learned that day, after that i some very bad nights for a couple of weeks :/ But then i realised i have been living for 16 years, i have never experienced this sleep paralysis ever, so what are the chances i will have it soon. And i completely forgot about the whole thing.
So now, Just a few days ago i had come to experience it. It was during the night. I feel asleep just fine at round 11pm and i was dreaming, and the dream was very vivid as i still seem to remember it (i had telekinesis and were chucking chairs at people) however i had a sudden wake up at exactly 4:32 AM in the morning. I woke up fine and i moved from sleeping on my side to sleeping on my back since my arm seemed to have gone numb after my head being on it for hours. And i simply closed my eyes. A few seconds after i closed my eyes i experienced the most vivid and lifelike imagery. I am pretty sure i wasn't dreaming because i still felt conscious and i could hear my fan running. however i was able to imagine the brightest beach and the bluest ocean. There were signs on the floor saying "You, Come this way" , "That's right this way". It was like i was dreaming, but i don't think i was :S
Now right after that i realised that i should put the macbook on charge so i can use it in the morning. So i stopped imagining, or at least tried! I couldn't stop seeing the beach for about 6 seconds. Then it went away and i tried to open my eyes, but they wouldn't open. about 3 seconds after that i started shaking and vibrating, and all i could hear was "BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ" like something in my head was vibrating. It felt like someone was stroking my face and pulling on my cheeks. I was shit scared I screamed and screamed but no one could hear me. I couldn't even open my eyes. I did not know what to do. It felt like i was suffocating so i panicked a lot. Eventually i woke up feeling exhausted.
My dad things im stupid for being scared and my mum wont help. I dont really know who i can turn to to find some help :/ I find it difficult to sleep and i get a max of about 5-6 hours sleep as when i wake up im too scared to go back to sleep and wait till i fall asleep from exhaustion. I would really liek to hear what you have to say, sorry iw rote so much too! Thanks :)